Fading is never 100% successful is it? (page 4)

Doubtfully Yours

You can check out anytime you want, but you could never leave the WTBTS.

An argument and sleepless night over a dog, and semantics, though?! There have to be better battles than this pettiness.

DY

Phizzy

As to the Thread Title, it depends what you count as "success".

When I set out to fade, which I didn't actually do, I just stopped going, which isn't exactly a fade, but what I hoped to achieve was to leave, but keep relations with my JW family going as best they could with me on the outside.

I have successfully achieved that.

O.K.I have felt the pain of dealing with my old mum, she told me a couple of years ago she didn't want to speak to me again, but I ignored that and carried on with the visits, as and when.

The point I feel is that it is never over because we WERE Jw's. So, O.K, DF or DA and you won't have to deal with them directly, but it ain't over, you still have to deal with being shunned etc.

It is as "over" as it will ever be with me, in that I really don't give a s**t what they think, say or do anymore.

talesin

An argument and sleepless night over a dog, and semantics, though?! There have to be better battles than this pettiness.
DY

We were born into it. Our choices are/were limited. Choose to stay 'in' and have family (a VALID choice), or to leave and lose that family (also a VALID choice)?

When you have no mom, no dad, no siblings, you may spend a lot of time with your friend of a chosen species. Communication ensues .. feelings of 'family' may be the result.

We live in different worlds, DY, but I'm beginning to see that each has its hardships, and appreciate your POV, though we may, at times, disagree. xx

Gilbeath Haaraloth

No not 100% but pretty successful. What else can you do? Disassociate yourself and never see your family again?

nicolaou

Thanks for your comments guys. It was only a small incident but just enough to get me riled up for a day.

Now then, I need to look around for a thread to hit on . . .

Vidiot

I have to say, it hasn't been 100% successful for me.

Gilbeath Haaraloth

Vidiot can you please elaborate?

blondie

Giordano, I read your comments about your jw relatives and conversation; the sad thing is we have been out for 15 years and our non-jw relatives play the same song, just different words and not because we were jws. They might think they are being encouraging (but I am not deceived by that) but it is a passive-aggressive way to hurt us.

Some things are just things that show how lacking people are in what true love is. I haven't seen my in-laws for 4 years because we feel like every encounter is like a series of slaps in the face.

Love, Blondie

steve2

Like the beetroot stain on your lovely high-quality cotton white teeshirt, who ever said the stain remover would ever be 100% successful?

I like Simon's response:

At a certain level, these kind of low-simmering encounters characterize human relationships in general. They are not unique to JWs:

The mother who scorns her daughter-in-law ("No one's good enough for my son"), the interfering, judgemental mother-in-law, the critical, entitled children who expect perfect parents, the son who doesn't realize he needs to cut his apron-strings from Mommy, the daughter with "Daddy" issues who takes it out on her hapless husband and on and on and on.

Your mother is a JW. If she were a dog and barked you wouldn't say, "Oh my God! She barks".

She's a JW doing JW things. Why are you saying, "Oh My God! She judges me!"

Did you really think the passage of time would change that? Man, are you on steep learning curve!

As for dogs, can I be frank?

The world is full of only two kinds of people, regardless of religious persuasion:

1) Those people who truly disdain dogs and vomit at the thought anyone could ever call dogs "family members";

2) those lovely, scrumptious, adorable people who absolutely dote on dogs and even prefer them to people.

I have a JW aunt now in her 80s who cried and cried and cried when her beloved pooch died several years ago because some thoughtless JWs told her to get a grip after it died because it won't be resurrected so why waste time crying.

Fading is never 100% successful is it?

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