My son's observation: Mom wants to believe, But really doesn't that's why she can't defend her religion

by goingthruthemotions 10 Replies latest jw experiences

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  goingthruthemotions

  My wife has been off the rails lately. She is not really a loving mom or wife. She is upset that me and the boys don't believe the same crap as her.

  And when she tries to talk about her beliefs and she is confronted with critical thinking questions. She just shuts down and accuses the boys of being just like me. What is that? a free thinker and critical thinker.

  So i was talking with my younger son and discussing how She just shuts down when you question her beliefs. Keep in mind she will sometimes approach the boys and try and talk with them about religion. But when they start getting into anything semi deep. she cant have a logical answer and says " well this is what i believe" or " i don't care"

  So talking with my son yesterday he mentioned to me that the night before she said something about religion. He started to talk to her about it and all she said was. " you sound like your dad" or " well this is what I believe" ect... got mad and shut down. ( her M.O)

  Then he said profoundly. I don't thing mom really believes in the religion. I think she wants to believe it's true and that;s why she can't defend her beliefs.

  We have a friend who is Mormon, she was talking with my wife about her beliefs. And this woman knew her religion through and through and explained why she believed it was true. ( it's still a cult also, but I give her credit) and my wife was like a deer in the headlights. Not knowing what to say and so shallow in trying to explain what she believes and I though. This is just an example of 99.999% percent of witnesses today.
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  Vidiot

  The biggest doubters are often the staunchest holdouts.

  It’s an instinctive fear-based response.
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  Pete Zahut

  I think she wants to believe it's true and that;s why she can't defend her beliefs

  Who wants to be on the defensive in their own home? That can't be much fun....I'm sure she probably feels outnumbered. Why not casually ask her simple questions once in awhile as if you simply want to understand things better rather than change her mind. Simply ask casual questions and accept whatever her answer is without comment.

  Example:

  You: "I've forgotten the Bible reasoning behind "headship". I remember that for some reason women are supposed to be in subjection to men and yet they can be part of the144,000 and will rule with Jesus and Judge mankind once they get to heaven but they can't even run the microphones at the Kingdom Hall here on earth."

  Her: "The Bible says at Ephesians 5 that Women are to be in subjection to their husbands."

  You: "Ok...so they're to be in subjection to their husbands but I was never clear on how that plays into having responsibilities at the Kingdom Hall. It's probably not all that important, I was just thinking about it. Anyway...pass the potatoes please."

  Often, in the process of answering a question, they can see the flaws in the JW reasoning on their own without having their noses rubbed in it. That way get can get comfortable questioning their understandings and can do so without feeling they need to defend them. That's what I did and it worked immediately.
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  Vidiot

  What Pete said.

  Also, be a way better husband as an XJW then you ever were as an active Witness.
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  Biahi

  I think it sounds like there’s hope for her to wake up. 🙏
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  road to nowhere

  Flip flopping makes it hard to know what you are told to believe.
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  GodBeliever

  Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, regarding the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our gathering together to Him, that you not be quickly shaken from your composure or be disturbed either by a spirit, or a message, or a letter as if from us, to the effect that the day of the Lord has come. No one is to deceive you in any way! For it will not come unless the apostasy comes first, and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the son of destruction, who opposes and exalts himself above every so-called god or object of worship, so that he takes his seat in the temple of God, displaying himself as being God. Do you not remember that while I was still with you, I was telling you these things? And you know what restrains him now, so that he will be revealed in his time. For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work; only He who now restrains will do so until He is removed. Then that lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord will eliminate with the breath of His mouth and bring to an end by the appearance of His coming; that is, the one whose coming is in accord with the activity of Satan, with all power and false signs and wonders, and with all the deception of wickedness for those who perish, because they did not accept the love of the truth so as to be saved. For this reason God will send upon them a deluding influence so that they will believe what is false, in order that they all may be judged who did not believe the truth, but took pleasure in wickedness.

  2 Thessalonians 2:1‭-‬12

  They say there is no evil slave but the day of the Lord has come. The Bible contradicts them. If they say the Catholic church is the man of lawlessness, it has been around for about 1700 years. They say the beast of the revelation is the UN and yet they join the beast and praise her for maintainig the world peace so they can preach the gospel undisturbed . They say the superior authorities are from satan and in the same time ministers of God. They also say that Jesus is not worthy of worship and we cannot pray to Him. The bible again contradicts them.There is nothing to defend. Their late teachings are contradictory and not consistent.
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  truth_b_known

  There's a new book coming out in April entitled "The Scout Mindset" by Julia Galef. Galef studies human thinking. I believe one of the points she bring out in her research is that the human mind has evolved to believe things that are not true if they are beneficial to us.

  What is the benefit of being a loyal Jehovah's Witness? You are supposed to be granted everlasting life in perfect health on a paradise earth.

  Is there any evidence that supports such an outcome is possible? No.

  Is it so appealing that a person will avoid the truth and deny evidence to maintain the fantasy? Yes!

  The number one reason people fear dying is that the believe they have missed out on something and will die unfulfilled. This actually creates a neurosis. The way to battle this neurosis is figure what meaning and purpose our individual life has.

  The best advice I would give to you and your children is to stop trying to convince your wife that Jehovah's Witnesses have it all wrong. She will only view this as an attack on her self and not on the religion. Instead, show her kindness, compassion, love, and respect no matter what.
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  carla

  "Who wants to be on the defensive in their own home? That can't be much fun"- so true, that is why at some point it may be best to agree to disagree and leave the whole matter to each individual in the home. Allow the home to be a neutral place for all concerned. No preaching and no apostate stuff either. That means no wt litter-ature around and no C of C books or the like either.

  Let the home be a sanctuary and safe haven for the family as a whole. Usually it is the jw who will not let things be but from personal experience it is much more peaceful if all the wt/apostate stuff is left out of the mix.

  It is nearly impossible to compete with the carrot of 'paradise earth' and their delusion of life after the big A.

  I wish I could reach my jw with questions as suggested. God knows many people, including myself, have tried all to no avail, some jw's must come to their own conclusions and others are not ready to give up the ready made 'friends' even though they know there are more problems than answers in jw -dom.

  Glad your kids see the truth about the truth. Sad that their mother has given them (and you) second class status in her life. It hurts, I know. Wishing you well.
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  GrreatTeacher

  GTTM, this struck me as an extremely brilliant observation for a teenager! ( I think you said he was a teenager.)

  Honestly, I'm a teacher and I kind of have an idea of the way kids think, and this type of emotional analysis is very sophisticated for a young mind.

  Good job, Dad. If you've been teaching him critical thinking, it's working!

  Sadly it's often the kids who have been in emotionally difficult situations who are extremely adept at understanding emotions, motivations etc.

  Tough way to learn, but this skill will be so useful to him for the rest of his life.