Need Suggestions/examples: Guide to helping family & friends break free

by LisaRose 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • LisaRose

    When Steve Hassan talks about the cult persona, he means the facade people put on to fit into the cult. As we know, JWs do bad things all the time, they are no better than anyone else.

    For example, a person may be a typical JW, clean cut, says he love field service, and watches only PG movies. In reality that guy might really like hard rock and secretly would love to get a tattoo and ride a Harley. He might even do some of those things in secret, but his true personality is not acceptable in the cult.

  • Fernando

    Most JWs are sincere I believe and genuinely want to please God and live a good life.

    The only problem is they can't tell the difference.

    They don't even know there is a difference.

    That is until you ask them:

    "Is a right and clean standing with God earned or imputed?"

    They will most likely answer "earned" which is completely contrary to the "good news" according to Paul who spoke repeatedly about how a righteous status is a "free gift".

    Using the Watchtower library (even online) it is easy to check this by searching for and underlining each occurrence of the words righteous and righteousness in Paul's letters.

    As soon as someone really gets that they cannot earn, deserve or pay for a right and clean standing then the apostate, legalistic and moralistic ruling religious clergy class lose their hold and power over them.

  • Zana

    Adding to #2:

    Figure out the main reasons why they stay in the cult. This is probably easier with people who converted, because you can ask them why they joined in the first place.

    Do they focus on the scripture? Is it the social aspect? Is it the paradise earth promise? ...

    Another thing:

    The GB is very clever in brainwashing JWs towards thinking that GB = Jehovah. Try to break that thought. If you leave the JWs, that doesn't mean that you leave Jehovah, too (although many eventually will). The GB just offers their interpretation of the scripture. But they are imperfect men. They can be wrong and obviously they were wrong many times in the past.

  • crazy_flickering_light

    I think #1 Trust is a main point. If somebody know, you're a safe contact and he can discuss safe with you, you hear where he is doubting. Then you able to give input. This works for me, I'm active at this time - can't fade - and make 2 friends from lazy dub to apostate dub.

  • Heartsafire

    Thanks for that Lisa Rose. I need to brush up on my Steve Hassan lately. Truth be told it is quite exhausting mentally and emotionally for me to remember all this stuff and contemplate indirect tactics to slowly reveal ttatt to my husband. It's one day at a time for me. Thanks for bringing these little reminders to our attention:)

  • OutsiderLookingIn

    This is a nice list. I have tried most of these, even without knowing it. Building trust is key, but it takes time and can't be faked. Not a rush job, at all. Also, living your own life well is a powerful anti-witness. And seeming disinterested in their ultimate decision ("I'm not interested, but if you want to do it, consider why as well as the consequences") lets them make their own choice but shows that you won't cave to peer pressure on the issue. I'm not sure of the success yet, but I feel hopeful when I hear a comment like, "I never thought of it that way" or see the cult personality come into direct conflict with the authentic personality and/or what the person knows to be true. Thanks, Lisa Rose.

    Edited to add: success, meaning actual renouncing the JWs

  • zeb

    This is quite extensive.

    I was looking for the clip of Jackson saying it would be presumptive to say that the wt is the only representative of god.

  • zeb

    Any jw should choke on hearing and seeing this. I did!

  • kaik

    Good points, but it is not that easy for many people. Under communism, there was also recommended psychical therapy for people who were struggling with post-religious lives, and needed professional help to get out mentally from the bond. Many people deep in the cult would need professional help and session(s) with the licensed professional who deal with cult mentality and cult control. The big issue I see that many people will not be able to accept reality and will commit suicide, go through depression, or unhealthy wild life and sex denied by the cult and harm themselves in the process.

  • Irocz

    I'm extremely new to ALL of this!! Like two days new. My father is an elder. Has been for about 35 years. I'm going to get very very prepared with a list of specific questions to be asked in a strategic format.

    I am planning on explaining how confusing the many religious options are today and that I would appreciate his help in sorting through the different doctrines to find what is best for me.

    Like I said I'm brand new to all this information and this site. But that's what my plan is at this point.

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