Need some advice Re: JW marking by a family member

William Penwell

So anyone that has read some of my posts on here over the years knows I have done the slow fade over the last 30 years. I do not claim to be a JW and have not being in a KIngdum Hall now to attend a meeting or convention for religious reasons for almost 15 years. Now I know the discussion on here from this past DC was the rank and file Dubs have being pressured to distance themselves away from family members that are no longer active Dubs that they deem are not living up to WT bible principals.

Now my J Dub sister has being a little distant since my parents passed away but we have always we have being on speaking terms. I thought she was aware of my situation that I have been living together with my GF for the last 2 years. Now she has found out we are living together and I got a "dear john" type of letter just giving me the ultimatum that since I am living against her principles she can no longer have anything to do with me. Well I did not not to respond right away as I would only be replying out of emotions and end up saying the wrong thing. One thing I will say to her is that it is her is if she chooses not to speak to me than it is her decision/choice not mine.

Any other helpful points would be much appreciated.

freddo

How much interaction did you have? Would ignoring it be a possibility?

smiddy

You have done a slow fade for the past 30 years , have not attened a meeting for the past 15 years ?

And you are concerned about what your JW sister thinks of you ?

It sounds to me , WP , that you are a typical person that has left the "truth" however the "truth" has never left you ,

You need to do research and decide for yourself whether JW`s have the truth or not and stop sitting on the fence.

Research information on this site using the search option at the top right hand corner on subjects that relate to the truth.

The time has come for you to make decisions in your life that map out your future ,go for it.

dozy

I had a similar letter from one of my sisters. She is something of a marginal JW , having been publicly reproved for immorality & has done quite a few other seriously wrong things ( such as being convicted for benefit fraud etc. ) It was in connection with a few Xmas cards that I put on a windowsill that she saw when she drove past and I got the "I don't want anything to do with you as you are celebrating pagan holidays etc" ( which I wasn't anyway , and didn't even have any decorations up.)

I replied as friendly as I could that it wasn't helpful to judge others & she may perhaps look at her own life and her own standards - perhaps applying Jesus's words about "the rafter in your eye" etc. Told her I will always love her & if she ever changes her mind and reconsiders then my door is always open. She didn't reply and I've heard nothing since ( 6 years now. ) and guess I'll never see her again , other than possibly at our parent's funerals eventually. Bear in mind like the OP I'm faded , not DFd.

I always find it ironic that JWs give themselves a free pass when it comes to conduct but are so quick to be judgemental of others.

Half banana

William your sister is acting like a JW automaton, acting not thinking. I am close to my sister and would hate to be shunned by her so I can see how you must feel.

Nevertheless a JW is stuck in a mind-bending cult and you are not. Perhaps this is the time to tell her simply that your love for her is unconditional and that she should look into the hypocrisy of the JW organisation on the internet.

The result is still likely that you will be sent to Coventry by her but you have the prime opportunity to leave her with a big doubt about her wonderful religion.

William Penwell

How much interaction did you have? Would ignoring it be a possibility?

Even though we have not had a lot in common as far as the religion was concerned, we would meet up the odd time for coffee or lunch and talked about stuff in general but never got into the religious stuff. That was the relationship we have had. We were close in age and we had a lot in common growing up. The last two years since my parents have passed away we have not had much contact. Seems like it was our parents that kept us together. The signs were there that she has being somewhat distant the last while. I think she has been getting some heat from maybe another family member or the organization that she should not have too much to do with me as a non practising dub. I have no problem walking away now if this is what she chooses as I am not going to be emotionally black mailed. I think I will just make a brief reply stating that it is her choice not mine (as I do not recognize the WT authority anyway) and that I have to do this for my happiness because I want to not because someone else wants me to.

You have done a slow fade for the past 30 years , have not attened a meeting for the past 15 years ?
And you are concerned about what your JW sister thinks of you ?
It sounds to me , WP , that you are a typical person that has left the "truth" however the "truth" has never left you ,
You need to do research and decide for yourself whether JW`s have the truth or not and stop sitting on the fence.
Research information on this site using the search option at the top right hand corner on subjects that relate to the truth.
The time has come for you to make decisions in your life that map out your future ,go for it.

No I am not concerned what my sister or anyone else thinks of me, otherwise I would still be a Dub. I am at a good place in my life and am happy without the cult in my life. Not sure of your back ground but if a person still has some family members in the religion, regardless, you never quite get away from the whole BS. I know it was discussed on here that the WT this last DC was putting pressure on Dubs to cut ties with other family members that were ex Dubs if they are not living a what they deem as a "Christian" life style.

As far as the cult or religion is concerned I have made my choice. I am no longer consider myself as dub. Like I mentioned the only reason why I stayed somewhat close was because for my parents sake. Now they are gone I am not worried if my other brothers or sisters cut ties with me. I am happy in my life and will just move on with my own life. I will not be emotionally black mailed in to doing what someone else wants me to do. After I received my sisters email, I just didn't want to respond out of emotions but give it some thought. My reason for this post was to get some input from others on here that has had to deal with a similar situation.

freddo

Just a curve ball here - are you and your girlfriend likely to get married?

William Penwell

Just a curve ball here - are you and your girlfriend likely to get married?

No plans right now and I do not want to do it because it would make someone else happy. I was married once and as a dub I married for the wrong reasons.

smiddy

Thank you for your clarification on your situation W.P. I now appreciate better your OP .

I hope everything works out for you

Take care.

BluesBrother

You said it in your opening paragraph. The last Regional Convention made the point that they should extend the cold shoulder to ex Dubs who are not in contact ,thus not d/f'd.

If she really wants to "Prove her loyalty to Jehovah", that is what she will do. Like the stupid sheep in Orwell's "Animal Farm" some of the most loyal dubs believe every little comment and are willing to blindly follow - even at the expense of family ties and natural affection .

This of course runs counter to real Christian teaching, but you have to think to realize that

Need some advice Re: JW marking by a family member

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