Please bear with me as this might be a long one,
The question above has been circulating my mind for a while and I’ve been wondering if there’s anyone that thought the same or done it.
we normally associate shunning and disassociation with Jehovah’s Witnesses that are normally baptised, but my situation is a reversed one.
i was a bible student that left a long time ago on my own free will, never shunned never ostracised by my JW’s siblings and their families. The years have passed and situations have arisen that has made me uncomfortable of the knowledge of particular outcomes within my siblings and families.
I’ve been thinking to stay away from my family( living in a different country ), as I don’t want to be preached on or feel out of touch and segregated by their opinions of me and my family. To us we are normal people living ordinary lives, nothing special there....but when I meet my family I feel judged and I find myself back to the confined world of JW’s behaviour. Doesn’t feel like I’m me, everything needs to be measured and calculate, ideas, conversions and the most innocent of actions.
I feel that I’m lying and I believe that they don’t know who I am as a person. We don’t seem to connect on anything.... but I have noticed that when we all get together that they have an instant connection, did you hear the new program or have you studied this or the new awake article blah blah. Russia was a huge conversational topic in a very panic way.
So I’ve been thinking to disassociate myself from them. We are not siblings that are connected all the time, sister is a pioneer, busy of course... brother is an elder and brothers wife is also a pioneer also busy.
Parents are long gone, they weren’t witnesses, so we were able to grow and see both worlds, siblings started studying as home life was not a great one.
I’ve started researching more about the witnesses world a good few months ago. And things that I didn’t paid much attention to just came to light....like a lightbulb moment. The hierarchy of the elders families, segregation of poorer families like mine, the invitations for functions that never happened, the gossiping even my clean cut fathers funeral.... my father studied before his death.
my sister in particular is such an intellectual and intelligent woman but this small bubble world has robbed her from who she once was, she lost the ability to rationalise the most simple of things. I then say... actually it’s not that a bigger deal, I’m sure this never rings home though.
So what do you think? Should I ignore my feelings of feeling deceitful a not good enough soul and like we say here in the UK “carry on” or should I act on it for my health and state of mind? Anyone felt like this before? I bet a JW’s has never thought that we can disassociate ourselves from them too.
Thank you in advance for any advice.