"Mormons" ("royals" by Lorde) parody
"And everybody's like: piercings, tattoos, coffee in the morning. Short skirts, curse words, no missions or good works. And we don't care... And every Mormon's like: pure heart, white shirt, clean music and media. Fun times, no crime, chastity and lots of kids."
Yes, dears. Because us coffee drinkers with pierced ears and a tendency to cuss when frustrated are completely incapable of good works and a pure heart.
Scratch that. I know exactly what my heart is like. And it's blacker than my coffee.