A Family Divided....Again

by BeautifulMind 10 Replies latest jw experiences

  • BeautifulMind
    BeautifulMind

    Good morning everyone. Well, just as our family was finally all out of the org., getting back to being the family we once were, one of my family members recently went back in. I won't give many details that will give away my identity. But it sucks, really bad. This family member didn't just casually go back to appease the spouse who is using the child as a pawn to return. Nooooo, this person went full out jw. Shunning my other df'd family members again, my df'd parent, oh yeah and shunning me too and I'm not even df'd or da'd. I mean if you have to go back in to save your family, It's your life. But to cut us off because your spouse (and "friends" in th cong. we grew up in) feels we are all "bad association" and pressure you to stop communicating with us because we don't believe the bs anymore is silly. As much as it stings, I'm not surprised they went back. They told me they were struggling with everyone's perception of them since they stopped attending meetings. I guess in the end they weren't strong enough to make that leap. I'm more surprised how they just were able to shun us again and when called out on it, say that Satan was using us to persecute them. Really?!! Smh....

    Anyway, I know coming out of the org is hard and some do end up going back like they never left. That's the reality.

  • Wayward
    Wayward

    That sucks, Beautiful.

  • blondie
    blondie

    When you leave you must try to make new friends. So many jws have not had to do that, automatically jw family and friends in the organization. So it is a new process when you leave...how to be a friend mostly. Not that all jws are your real friends. New social groups and recognizing the hypocrisy of the jws you left behind.

  • alanv
    alanv

    According to the org some years back they said about one third return to them. Check out jwfacts.

  • BeautifulMind
    BeautifulMind

    Will do @alanv, thank you.

  • ToesUp
    ToesUp

    Sorry to hear this.

    "They told me they were struggling with everyone's perception of them since they stopped attending meetings."

    This is VERY important to the majority of JW's.......PERCEPTION. What you and your family look like to others trumps everything else. Anthony Morris said it in his interview. "Our sons make my wife and I looks good." That is what it is all about..."looking good." It's important to also have a title, it's a pedigree. No title/low hours equals weak. Well, this weak family is finally enjoying life.

  • blondie
    blondie

    I have known some to get reinstated to drop into the "inactive" state, being able to associate with jw family. I remember a poster on JWN who did that.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    I have known some to get reinstated to drop into the "inactive" state, being able to associate with jw family. I remember a poster on JWN who did that.


    i seriously considered going back--about 25 years ago--even to the point of a phone conversation with a local elder . my motive was to try and rebuild some contact with my kids. their mother was a fanatic jw and had successfully turned them against me.


    but a chat with my jw dad hit the nail on the head--he said i would only go back to it if i really loved jehovah. that did it--i reminded my dad i never believed in god---in fact the very thought of having to pretend i did made me feel ill.

  • flipper
    flipper

    BEAUTIFUL MIND- I'm sorry to hear that your relative went back to the Witnesses. There are quite a few people who leave and get Dfed but never bother to research the Internet to DISCOVER the crimes and unjust deeds of the WT Society - so even in a Dfed state they still think it's " Jehovah's organization ". These are the kinds of people who don't educate themselves so no new information has ever gone into their brain neurotransmitters- thus they are still stuck in the JW way of thinking.

    I've seen folks return to the organization who were out for 20 years - because they STILL thought it's " Jehovah's organization ". Their brains were stuck in " neutral " for 20 years with no new information to make them think critically- and they remain forever mind controlled. Pretty sad actually. I hope your relative someday reconsiders. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • BeautifulMind
    BeautifulMind

    I agree with you all. Make new friends, educate yourself about the org., start over. That's what I did, and life has been much better for me and my family.

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