Waking up - introduction

Dreamerdude

I am a male, born into the JW cult(ure), baptized as a teen, now mid fifties. Most of my life I dreamed of hugging pandas and lions, punctuated at times by nightmares of Armageddon or JW drama and politics. Still going through the motions for still-in wife.

I started to wake up in 2010, dozing on and off until 2014. I was slapped wide awake by the notorious Tony Tight Pants Rant at the Annual Meeting. I am mentally free of FOG and my fondest dream at the moment is to be physically free of this mind controlling cult.

I have read CoC, Steve Hassan, JWFacts and many of your delightful posts here. One of my favorites is Farkel, although I am sad I joined too late to interact with him.

It is so good to know that I am alone. However, I am very sad that my wife is still completely deluded and reacts so dramatically when I occasionally ignite her CD. I empathize with her, because I too suffer the pain of CD, when the things I was taught to believe collide with the recognition of reality.

I feel calm as I write this, with my main focus on rescuing my wife, causing her as little trauma as possible.

I feel like I am still in a daze, so I apologize if this is incoherent or inconsistent. Maybe some words of wisdom from those of you who have gone before will help me see more clearly.

As I come to, I hope to make some positive contributions here, but please give me time.

PaintedToeNail

Dreamerdude-Welcome! I'm in my early 50's with my husband still in and deluded. Glad to have you here.

OneEyedJoe

You're on the right track... You're not alone. You may never wake up your wife (sorry for the pessimism) but I certainly hope you do.

My advice is to remember to take care of yourself. If things start to get too hard to fake it, just get out. Lead by example and hopefully your wife will follow. But don't sacrifice your health (physical or mental) because you think it might give you a slight edge in waking up your wife. In my case I think I would've had a better chance if I'd been up front when I first woke up. It's a crapshoot, so all you can do is try your best and make sure you take care of your needs.

Again, welcome. I wish you the best of luck in your journey!

hybridous

Hi, DDude -

Glad to have you here and thanks for stepping out of the shadows to talk.

You seem to have laid some solid groundwork for yourself. Please, do not allow yourself to feel rushed, and do not put your wife (or yourself) under pressure to renounce the JW religion and just leave. As you know, a person must reach the satisfaction of their own conclusions regarding these matters. Tread lightly and feed your relationship.

I am glad to hear you mention Farkel. He had really taken some time to indulge me in conversation that was very valuable to me. He was instrumental in helping me stay on the rails, even as I left the JW cult in an abrupt and furious manner. He was extraordinarily kind to this dumb kid, and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Look forward to hearing what you have to say.

millie210

Welcome and glad you are here. Take all the time you need and join in wherever you feel comfortable.

You are among real friends here.

talesin

Hi there, and welcome. It's better to be somewhat painfully aware, than comfortably numb. And that's right, you are no longer alone. I'm one of the '75 generation, too, though I left when I was younger. It must have been difficult to see things change so much. I know that when I left, I was extremely disillusioned and discouraged. Don't let it get you down. Keep on dreamin' .... : )

Farkel was awesome, and the best thing about him was absolutely no BS, ever. Loved him a lot. There's lots of folk here in the same situation as you, who can help you with this.

Hoping your wife can wake up to TTATT soon. xx

Ding

Welcome!

Don't push your wife. Be patient. She needs to see things for herself in her own way. Things that now seem obvious to you may have no impact on her.

Listen far more than you talk.

Dreamerdude

Thank you for the warm welcome, encouragement and advice.

Dreamerdude

PTN, I wish you the best with your husband. If I make progress, I will be sure to post it. I really hope there is a way. Geoff's testimony at ARC caused my wife to stir and she insisted we stop donating. I heartily agreed. What she didn't know is that I had already stopped months before that.

OnTheWayOut

DreamerDude, you will become my kindred spirit.

I am in my young 50's and my wife is still a captive to the JW's. I have read the same things and more, as I have been out close to 10 years now, purely from waking up because of the things they try to pass by us.

Good luck rescuing your wife. I won't go into my efforts because I don't want to discourage you- your outcome can be completely different. But I never give up hope and look for opportunities still.

I hope to hear more from you. I am in middle USA. I meet with many other former JW's and even travel to Flippers Summer gathering of ex-JW's in South Lake Tahoe, California every year.

Waking up - introduction

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