Differences Between Ex-JWs

by David_Jay 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • sparrowdown

    Nice piece you have written and yes it's a journey of discovery to get to the point when you appreciate differences rather than judge people on them. Rich tapestry yada yada and all.

    But I have to say the whole born ins vs converts rivalry always bothered me when I was in.

    Is that like jew vs gentile, bloodline/birthright vs peasant stock?

    Does that turn into christian ex-jw vs athiest ex-jw once we become ex-jw?

    I hated the snobbery of JW land and I still hate snobbery.

    I remember for a few years there they would introduce speakers on the then DCs as ".... Third generation JW Bro So and So will now ....... " ugh give me a break!! Jws have got to be snobs of the worst kind.

  • Wild_Thing

    You made excellent points, David. The sad fact is that all of us were hurt and sometimes still hurting because of the Watchtower, but we all had different journeys getting there and getting out. Some of came out more unscathed than others, and there are a lot of factors that determine that, as you pointed out.

  • Ucantnome
    "Born into the religion, if that is you, is very different. You were made to do this. You may have liked it or parts of it or you may have hated it all, or a mixture of this. Your being baptized as a JW was not a choice, not like it is for converts. You were not necessarily searching for what the JWs claimed they had. This was probably expected of you. Leaving means leaving life as the only way you've known it. You are more likely to be done with all things religious after this because your only experience with religion was so distasteful. For all I know, it took you more courage and effort to leave than it did for someone like me."

    My parents were baptised when I was very young and so I was raised in the religion. I don't think I ever liked the religion. I pioneered but the influence was my brother. I always felt I was lucky that my parents had accepted it as I would never in a million years stepped in a Kingdom Hall and as for field service and givin talks, reading the Watchtower etc. that would never have occurred at all had it not been for my father. However baptism was different, the only thing that I had reservations about was having to accept privileges after, which came almost immediately, opening prayer at the meeting, opening the service meeting. I remember sitting there at the hall and thinking, one day I'll have to be an elder, it felt like a death sentence.

    When I was in my early 20's I seriously thought about leaving but I reviewed everything that I believed and why and felt I couldn't. I always felt I loved God and not the org. I visited a couple of Bethel's and thought rather them then me. My brother at one point was going. I felt sick at the thought.

    I don't think my belief in God was tied to the religion that much and so I still have faith in God but yes I was surprised when I first visited this site and found so many different views.

  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe .......
    But apparently, at least as far as your reading of my post demonstrates, my abilities to write in an efficacious manner are lacking and not a little.

    Dont worry about it. I had to cast myself back into that mindset momentarily to remember how I felt but I am not that person now. It seems very odd writing I wanted to serve God and that I bought into the bs about saving lives, but I was sixteen.........

  • Sail Away
    Sail Away
    Terry Walstrom-- Suffering, panic, loss are profoundly subjective experiences. How we cope and adapt and what we become in the long run as a result, may well be a measure of our character more than our trauma.

    Terry, as someone with PTSD, I would substitute the word resilience for character.

    I do agree with this statement:

    Terry Walstrom-- It is only us here. Now.
    The path we take is of our own making. The same brain-machine inside our skull which caused us to fall victim to the cult is STILL THERE. Unless we replace the parts, one by one, we surely end up in the same place again, and again, an again with different labels attached to the same delusion.

    Phizzy-- I was a lover of truth, still am, and left because there simply is no truth in the JW "religion". Not truth in the real sense of the word.
    I am not bitter, I do regret that I did not wake up much earlier in life and so make better life choices, but what happened, happened.

    Phizzy, this was and is my experience. I had long-standing doctrinal issues that were compounded by the very real pain of recognizing the hypocrisy present in the religion I chose for myself as a pre-teen. I simply wanted to do what was right and to please God. I was a true believer, and I was a sincere student of the Bible to the extent that my level of education allowed. I wanted to help people, and most of all I wanted the stable, happy family life that JWs promised. I was misguided. When the organization nearly destroyed my family I was done. There is a fair amount of regret that I imposed this pain on myself, my marriage and my children.

    I find this statement to be more than a little judgmental and harsh:

    Phizzy-- When I left, I set out to educate myself, so studied Philosophy, History, the Bible, Evolutionary Theory etc etc, all as an "armchair scholar".
    I was astounded that other ex-JW's did not do this, and came on Sites like this and displayed their appalling ignorance, and their prejudices.
    But I was known as a "studious type", I guess such people are still as lazy now as when they were JW's, not finding anything out for themselves, not reading, not even thinking !
    This is sad, the freedom one gets by walking away from a High Control Cult like the JWs should not be wasted by wallowing in ignorance.

    Everyone’s path out is different. I do not consider myself lazy or to be wallowing in ignorance. I refuse to let choices I made as a pre-teen and teen continue to absorb the little time I have left on this planet. I did an intensive examination of my beliefs after I walked away—not to justify my leaving, but to answer the question: Just what do I believe to be true now? The answers I came up with are for another thread. What I decided in the end was I am not interested in studying Philosophy, History, the Bible, Evolutionary Therory, etc. I am interested in enjoying the freedom I have, loving my family and developing skills and talents that I was not able to during those lost years.

    Great Post David Jay!


  • BluesBrother


    The modern JW faith is hard for grumpy old men like me to comprehend.

    It is hard for grumpy old "sisters" to comprehend too...although they may cling like limpets to the faith of their youth.

    David Jay is right . We are not all the same ,in fact there is just one common thread binding us all, our experiences within and waking up to the WTS. Otherwise we are just a disparate bunch of ordinary people trying to make sense of the world the best way we know how.

    Vive la difference ! (dubs don't get that about us )

  • kaik

    I met bunch of ex-JW who I wish I never met, and were rather terrible people to begin with. I met some very nice ex-JW people. Generally, I found the slight negative in both within WT and outside WT community by ratio 60/40. Many ex-JW carry the superiority complex, the feeling to be chosen, after they left WT, continue to preach others, and always trying to proof something, and telling someone how their view/beliefs/experience is right and everyone else is wrong.

  • smiddy

    When I was "in" I appreciated the fact , that all those in a congregation , and I was in many congregations, were only congregated together because of one factor , and that is they supposedly had one belief that bound them together, worshipping Jehovah God.

    I often thought their is no way on Gods earth these diverse people would associate together if it wasn`t for the truth.

    Coupled with the culture of only mixing with brothers and sisters religiously and socially to the exclusion of all others ( worldly people ) did bring people together that would not normally associate with each other because of class distinctions , education , financial ,top end of town / bottom end of town type situation .

    So once a person leaves the JW`s these differences still remain , and because their is no longer the " bond" to belong to the religion our "caste" / "class" distinctions manifest themselves again.

    By the way I was a convert , not happy where my life was going when I was 19 and was looking for answers to life`s questions , why are we here , what`s it all about Alfie...... I was vulnerable.


  • Luo bou to
    Luo bou to

    someone mentioned the deep things we learned in the 60's that brought a smile to my face deep not crazy like the locusts with human faces being WT literature and the way language was used to hijack critical thinking ie cross cant be true cause it is pagan why did I buy into that one whern't the Romans pagans does one think they would object to using a cross so it had to be an upright stake

  • millie210

    Great post David_Jay.

    What I really appreciate about it was being able to look at other reasons people may have for being "ex JWs". I am on a journey to understand my own motivations and like reading about other points of view,

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