Yet another JWR refugee. Been active over there for a while now. Was quiet for the last couple months but just starting to 'reactive' myself again. Come from a 4th gen witness background. Woke myself up officially over the last couple years after trying to suppress doubts for the last 15 years. But just couldn't contain them anymore. Has been a rough and rocky road. Awakening led to a serious existential crises. Prior to awakening I was suppressing doubts and self medicating depression and anxiety with alcohol. Finally realized I needed proper help just over a year ago. Just got out of an in-patient treatment program for concurrent disorders a few weeks ago and will be going into an extended program dealing with psychological issues related to your family of origin that lasts about 5 months. Helps a lot with complex trauma related issues. Bottom line, I'm taking this exJW recovery thing in a serious way.
I was a pretty hard core and serious JW until my mid-twenties. Until my first marriage ended in a serious disaster. As I mentioned earlier I was suppressing doubts seriously after that, but tried really hard to beard them for 15 years since. But you just can't force yourself to believe something that just doesn't make sense. Anyway, this is already starting to carry on, so I'll stop it there. Sad that all my details are sitting neatly over on JWR somewhere, but c'est la vie. At least I put some stuff up on google docs. Here's a link to some stuff I put together that's a collection of stuff I read/studied that helped me while I was waking up. Cheers!