So Today Was My Wife's First Ever Birthday Party

by dubstepped 34 Replies latest jw experiences

  • scratchme1010
    scratchme1010

    That's awesome! Happy birthday.

  • blondie
    blondie

    We go out to eat for each other's birthday...nothing big. My husband did not grow up as a jw and said birthdays were low key, dinner out and a card.

    Happy birthday!

    Blondie and Irreverent

  • SafeAtHome
    SafeAtHome

    Totally awesome! Happy Birthday to your wife. Imagine what a fine "unwitness" it was for everyone there to find out just how controlling and whacko the JWs are! 🎂

  • Giordano
    Giordano

    Happy birthday to your wife with many more to come!

    Less than a year after leaving the dubs last September, we had 60+ people come out just to support my wife and her first birthday.

    I know this is a huge problem....making new friends for many who leave the JW life. How did you manage to have such a terrific support group?

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    That's awesome! Congratulations on fully embracing the joy of celebrating a birthday. Of all the Watchtower dont's, this was one of the stupidest.

  • Cangie
    Cangie

    (GASP) No beheadings? Awww....well, maybe next year...

    Happy birthday to Mrs. Dub, and congratulations to you for being such an awesome husband! I've never had a birthday party yet, and I've been out a long time. BTW, since I don't know all the rules and niceties of social etiquette, would it be o.k. to throw myself a party next year? I planned one for my granddaughter a few years ago, spent a fortune on party favors and other fun junk, food, a cake, a bicycle and yes, even a PINATA (just because I could). It was the best ever to see her little face. I'd always felt so bad about having to deny my own children a birthday party when I was raising them in the b0rg.

  • dubstepped
    dubstepped
    zeb10 hours ago so what did you buy her?

    She loves ginger, not humans with red heads (back to the beheadings), but ginger flavored things and ginger itself. It is a kick she's been on for some time now. So I found things she's never had like ginger preserves, pickled ginger, a balm made out of ginger, dried ginger with sugar, and an especially strong ginger tea. I don't like to give someone a gift that they consume and it's all gone, so I also bought her a new cross-body purse. It has lots of pockets and organization, which she likes, is gray, which she likes, and kind of like a ripstop nylon, which she likes. Instead of carrying a big bulky purse when we go out to football games and such she can wear this.

    I've never wrapped a gift before, lol. I love giving gifts but have never been patient enough for crafty things. But my wife loves the new adult coloring books (no, not THAT kind of "adult"), so I found the first picture she ever colored and made copies of it. I then lined up the 8.5x11 sheets and trimmed them and created my own wrapping paper.

    For the bow I used a neon yellow and neon orange shoelace with the word "finish" on each. A few years back, in a pivotal moment that rocked our JW world, we owed $55,000 in back taxes. We spent 18 months working 7 days a week (many weeks) and as many hours as possible every day to pay that off. Near the end of paying it all off (we had to make an extra $80,000 to pay back the $55,000 and taxes on that extra money too) we were just mentally and physically destroyed and we started dragging. So I bought us crazy mismatched neon shoelaces and wrote the word "finish" on them. When we got tired and looked down we saw those laces and it reminded us of what we were doing it all for. Who knew that time spent away from indoctrination would also allow us to start waking up, lol. It is a story unto itself.

    And my wife loves flowers and laser cut things (like purses with laser cut patterns) so I found a card with a pop-up laser cut vase and flower bouquet. It was a hit.

    You only get one first birthday, so I tried to make it memorable.

  • dubstepped
    dubstepped
    FayeDunaway - Sorry, I have to tell you about my first birthday 'out'. It was miserable! My husband left the religion with me but didn't grasp the birthdays holidays thing yet. So I cried in the bedroom. My little daughter came in and saw me crying and went out and came back later with a birthday card. It made my day.
    The next year I threw myself a party! Invited some ex witness old friends I had reconnected with. Had a full on cake with candles ....even a pinata :smile:.
    That year was a crazy year. Everybody needed a big first birthday party!! It was catch up time. I was worn out. But it was fantastic.
    I'm so happy for your wife and I hope she throws one for you too!

    I'm sorry you felt that way the first year out with your husband. My wife and I are on different timelines as far as when we're comfortable with some new things as this process has gone on. We decided early on not to do anything new until we were both comfortable with it. It helped a lot. Last year she wanted to do Christmas full on, just a couple months after disassociating, and I wasn't there yet. This December we'll do it though as I've come around. Intellectually I didn't have a huge problem with it last year, but emotionally I just couldn't feel right yet, it still felt dirty and wrong like the dubs made it my whole life. Funny thing is that I celebrated until I was about 8-9ish so I have wonderful memories of the holidays, but the indoctrination was something I took on wholly.

    I'm glad to hear that you got your party eventually and rocked it. Good for you! A pinata though? See, the dubs were right, violence does ensue.

    My birthday is next month. No big party for me. I'm more of a low key, hate to be the center of attention, hiding in the corner type of guy, though my social anxiety has come down tremendously since leaving the dubs. One couple has invited us out to a really nice, high end expensive dinner on them for my birthday. My wife has planned some things for me that are my style. Oh, and I've been dying to go out of town lately even if just for a long weekend, so I get to pick a place I want to go and we'll go there. I'm sure I'll get together with friends for a dinner or something too.

  • redpilltwice
    redpilltwice

    Congratulations! Our fade also started september last year , but I will turn 50 this year, not sure what to do...

  • dubstepped
    dubstepped
    DJS7 hours agoTotally freaking awesome! You must splash large for X mas and Halloween. And New Years Eve. And Valentine's Day. And 4th of July. And . . .

    Haha, we did our first Thanksgiving last year, just a few months out from our disassociation. Two families that we clean for invited us to their homes for dinners and it was awesome!

    This year we will do Christmas, last year I still felt weird about it. We did go camping though, and I bought battery powered Christmas lights and we strung them up in the brush around our tent.

    The good news about our newfound freedom is that we get to pick what we do and how we do it. We don't have to do things like everyone else either, and that's pretty cool. I did go to my first 4th of July party and the fireworks were fun. Some holidays we just don't care much about, although I know they're big for other people. I can tell you one thing, we won't be celebrating mother's or father's day.

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