One of the things I often wonder about at the meetings is How many of these people are actually living a lie or sinning in secret? And more importantly, how do these ones stomach it? In my case, I have secretly dated and done things disapproved by the WT with a pioneer sister in my congregation for years and we both go to the same meeting twice a week and pretend everything is perfect and nothing has happened. I have personally seen and heard things from brothers that lead me to believe that they are doing similar things.
The cognitive dissonance that go through these people's minds must be tremendous. I personally sometimes cannot even stand being at the meetings because it genuinely bothers me that I am lying to so many people who think I am almost sinless. Not to mention the fear that one day this sister could go cult mode and confess to our elders. The thought that everything you know - family and friends - can disappear at any moment is scary and I cannot understand how these people living lies like mine do it.
Do you guys have any experiences as to JWs living double lives but still being able to function perfectly within the congregation?