Looking back at the people I knew in the Jobos.....

by punkofnice 17 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Spiral

  Back in the day when the Spirals were young, we had some good friends. We all were hard workers and had decent jobs. Most are divorced or gone, we've lost track of most of them.

  Now, almost four decades on (and having been faded for 12), I don't see anyone around with whom I'd like to be friends. Everyone here has family drama, prescription drug use issues, mental issues, and there are several that are hoarders (as in, can't even go over to their houses, it's so bad). Add to that the fact that the average age in the congregation is over 60, and no one seems to have saved for retirement, makes this once proud and high-functioning congregation just sad. There is no group of stable, prosperous, working (aka almost normal) people here anymore to provide a "backbone" to the group.

  Three of the great spiritual elderette sisters tried to "encourage" me when they realized I moved back, but soon gave up. (Such a rotten attitude I've developed!) They are all so weird you can't imagine why you were ever friends. Wait - It's because you were trapped in a religion that made you feel obligated to be friends with whoever was in the congregation, even if you didn't even like them.

  My one last PIMI friend here asked me a while back if I wanted to "do more" with this group, she was hinting around because maybe that would get me to go back to meetings.

  My reply was nope, not interested.
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  punkofnice

  Spiral - They are all so weird you can't imagine why you were ever friends. Wait - It's because you were trapped in a religion that made you feel obligated to be friends with whoever was in the congregation, even if you didn't even like them.

  These forced comradeships were something that caused me problems even when I was a fully indoctrinated Jobo-rat.
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  Spiral

  @Punk, I agree. The forced friendships and subsequent emotional manipulation was extreme.
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  nowwhat?

  Very few in my lifetime I could relate to. Most are very guarded, uptight with no outside life. Like simply going out for beer and wings and bs'ing about sports or such.
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  Under No Illusion

  I think as we age, most of us reduce our circle of friends, sometimes deliberately, mostly just through attrition.

  When we are younger our insecurities and our need to belong makes having lots of friends, and making sure we get invited to whatevers happening etc, seem important. We are joiners and our self esteem can be dependent on the size and status of our social groups.

  I've traded that for quality over quantity and wish I had done it sooner.

  Back closer to the topic, JWs act in this regard exactly as if they are in a cult - they need like minds to reassure them that their crazy beliefs are real, so everyone that shares that view is a friend. Everyone that doesn't - essentially doesn't exist. That the only people they choose to associate with beyond a superficial level are other JWs is sad beyond belief when it splits families and former friends.

  As someone said, some good people trapped. But, unless born in, they chose that trap, so I don't waste too much sympathy on them. I met some well-intentioned people, as I knew I would, but in this case the path to madness was paved with good intentions.

  I cant really think of any that I could see myself being friends with. The ideologies are just too opposing.

  As always, its the born ins I genuinely feel for. It's child abuse via the imposition of a harmful lifestyle and mind conditioning.
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  Sigfrid Mallozzi

  I understand where you are coming from, so are we all weirdos also? Welll, moving on. My few but close friends were thinkers, we could talk about issues that we saw in the congregation, the quick build construction, and especially in the GB's direction of the organization. We would deconstruct an "elders school" and analyze it microscopically, then put it back together. Most of them had a similar background of some sort of Bethel full-time service and we had left on our own accord for various reasons and excuses. We would also drink a lot together. Fortunately, some have made it out like me, but some decided to take a double dose of the Blue Pill and continue PIMI.
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  punkofnice

  I have memories of stupid thing that were said from the platform by respected Elders.

  We had a talk(tm) about security at the Hall(tm). The Brother(tm) said that a wire letter cage had been put behind the letterbox. OK, that's reasonable...catch letters.

  The speaker(tm) said it was to prevent anyone putting a hose through the letterbox so that we didn't get flooded.

  I wonder where he imagined they would connect the hose?

  I heard other pearlers, but this is what I mean. Why would you hang about with people that came out with such silliness and yet are convinced it represents reality?
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  BluesBrother

  I have often said that I still have to have some contact with my wife's current congo. It is better to be involved a little. It helps her ,or so I like to think, I provide someone she can moan to when the elders upset her and that policy has kept us happily still married.

  So what about them as people? Most of them are on a different planet and don't know I exist. A few closer friends to her are good genuine people. One elder is friendly and at least tries to reach out... The other elders are completely indifferent to us both...

  Back in the day when I was involved , I have known 2 or 3 really brilliant elders who could manage well and really cared. They are long gone now.

  In short, dubs are just people like the ones you work with . If you're lucky you get on ok . That is all you can hope for