I was just musing over what turned out to be a very happy time in my life. It was Christmas, 1973, several weeks after I had been DF'd by the Leigh Park congregation in Portsmouth.
I'd taken to attending folk concerts, Tom Paxton occasionally, but mainly the raucous "Wild Rover" stuff that was being hiked around at the time by the likes of Noel Murphy and John Fitzgerald. There was a folk club each Sunday at the Coral reef bar on South Parade pier (that's the one that got burned down during the filming of "Tommy"). The guy who ran the club was a talented musician named John Isherwood, who kindly introduced me to a bunch of his flat mates who just happened to comprise of 4 girls.
Over the Xmas period, John invited me to his flat-share for an evenings music, cider and Lebanese gold. On arrival, each of his flat mates presented me with a Christmas card. These were the first Christmas cards of my life and I was stunned that they should give them to me. Additionally, one of the girls asked me if I would like her to accompany me and my 2 children on a trip to the local zoo. At that time I had parted from my first wife and had custody of the children, so I was particularly grateful.
Suddenly, it dawned on me that, for the first time ever, I had been accepted without question into a social scene. No-one was aware of my JW background, I was just being accepted entirely for myself, for my own company and not just because some felt they ought to show agape love for me.
It was one of the best feelings that I had ever experienced. I was actually a part of the world. I wasn't separated from it, I was included, I was wanted.
Since then I've come to realise that one of the main causes of depression is actually brought about by separation. Separation from our loved one's, separation from our ex-fellow believers, but most of all through separation from ourselves due to guilt. It's only by socialising with ordinary people that we can begin to overcome this separation. As we become accepted by ordinary people, something triggers in our minds that perhaps we are lovable and deserving of better things than we were told we were entitled to.
A while back, a JW remarked to me that, having "turned my back on Jehovah" I really was a "part of the world now, wasn't I?" I grinned back at her and said yes, I certainly am a part of the world and I could ask for nothing better in my life!
Being part of the world is just great. It is, after all, where we belong.
Englishman.