When waking up it often isn't an instant switch, there's a period of time when your conflicted feelings are heightened and most uncomfortable. Can anyone remember specific instances in the time before you fully woke up that made you uncomfortable or guilty, despite you still being a 'believer'?
I can think of two right now, both about a year or two before I woke up:
On one I was on a "Bible study" at the part in the Teach book that talks about blood transfusions, and the student expressed some concern. Of course my partner and I went all in espousing cell salvage, volume expanders, risk of disease yada yada. At the time I had no idea of the extent of harm and deaths that had resulted from it, but even then I felt a little guilty afterwards for down playing the dangers.
The other was when I gave a talk about the "earthly hope". It was just about the time that I began noticing the lack of evidence for it in the Bible. While writing the talk I realized how flimsy and superficial the whole thing needed to be out of necessity, as there were no scriptures that could be used without being partial quotes and/or out of context, and emotion/humor was relied on heavily over substance to carry the thing. I felt guilty afterwards, even though I was getting pats on the back all around, because I knew it was deceptive and intellectually weak. Still, I wasn't fully convinced and chalked it up to that maybe there was something I was missing or just didn't understand.
Any stories to share?