First draft of a letter to the congregations found crumpled up in Tomo’s waste bin:
"Resurrection is the hope"
Dear Brothers and Sisters,
(Start with a couple of upbuilding quotes to encourage greater giving to the org..........”givers are blessed”)
Well here in HQ, we’ve noticed that the governing
body is not getting any younger,
fatter yes but not younger. Since we
are the inheritors of the riches and glory that you generous ones have
contributed, as you can see from our appearances on JWTV we’re all self
indulgent pompous asses, living high on
the hog and we’re having a ball so we want to thank you and remember not to
stop contributing...in fact you should be increasing your contributions right now.
Remember, Jehovah will not bless the stingy ones Deut 36.27.
Another thing which has come to our attention is the
fact that God seems to have forgotten our request to bring on Armageddon. So it’s
tough luck all you suckers who thought you weren’t going to have to die of old
age ‘cos now you will. Don’t blame us we are just doing our job which is
the flock. bring in the money run the show.
This will be difficult for those not blessed by being called for heavenly life but tough titty you’ll just have to get on with it. After all the real hope as we have said all along is in the resurrection (Hey Splainey what does resurrection mean?) And resurrection is a good doctrine I’m told if you don’t go to heaven like the men round here.
So there it is; just put your money where your faith is, in God’s very own organisation and every thing’s gonna be ok. And keep sending in the cash and you will be blessed. Re 23.17
And don’t forget to feed the contribution boxes