Moment of awakening?

by Freeandclear 7 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Freeandclear

    I just recalled something from my past that I've not thought about in a very long time, but it did have a significant impact on me whether I knew it or not at the time......

    I have a sister who was born when I was 15. My family are not JW's thank the universe! But me as an uberdub at the time convinced my young sister to have a study. She was about 14 or 15 at the time I'd guess.

    We were going along in the Bible Teach book I think it was.....and she was full of questions. Now my sister was a very outgoing young lady with lots and lots of life in her. Very much the type to go off and explore the world (much like I was before becoming a Jdub and how I am once again) and at some point in our study and her going to meetings she expressed to me something along the lines of "But what do you DO?" in other words, she was seeing just how repressive this cult is. She saw that if she continued in it she would have nothing. None of her dreams would be fulfilled and all her desires would just be trashed. Startlingly I actually saw this too and for a split second I too asked myself "Yes, what indeed do we DO?" and the answer was "nothing". It was one of my first moments of Cognitive Dissonance and I quickly talked about how we do all this for Jehovah, blah blah blah.......

    The funny thing was when she decided to stop studying and attending meetings deep down I was actually happy for her. I knew she'd made the right decision for herself.

    It's funny I just thought of this. I never really thought I'd had any CD moments. For me reading CoC while I was taking a break from meetings (due to the overwhelming guilt feelings) was what I always thought of as my moment of awakening, but really looking back this was the first glimmer that something wasn't right.

    I'd love to hear your first moments of awakening if you'd like to share.

  • Divergent

    Doing more research about the blood issue + child abuse scandals & visiting this site + other "apostate" sites awakened me instantly!

    What led to my awakening was me realizing this: If JW's REALLY have the truth, WHY do we have to be so afraid of apostate sites as truth is supppsed to EASILY overcome lies? UNLESS...

  • Phizzy

    I was born in, and in for so long, that inevitably their were lots of moments when I had a sudden Light Bulb moment, which I then suppressed.

    Two come to mind, the first was when my mum told me about some Apostates, and said "They don't believe in 1914", and I thought to myself " I am not sure that I do".

    For a long time after that the constant crowing by the G.B that they had got 1914 right really annoyed me, I can remember thinking " Oh I just wish 1914 would be proved wrong !"

    This was pre-Internet of course, and little did I know their 1914 rubbish had already been blown out of the water.

    The second moment was simply the thought that came to me whilst in a K.Hall meeting " What if this is all wrong ? all a load of rubbish ?". I pushed the thought to the back of my mind.

    I wish I had pursued these thoughts, and left decades earlier, but at least in the end I became free.

  • LostGeneration

    "But what do you DO?"

    Great question, what an insightful woman. The reality of JW life is a constant spin of the hamster wheel. Millions of wasted lives.

  • MarkofCane
    Ya, Their logo should be " 8 million captive"
  • User99

    We had an elder pose the question during a talk, 'What do we DO, since we don't celebrate holidays, birthdays, or participate in many other activities outside the religion?'

    The pause afterwards must have seemed like forever, at least to those anticipating a decent response for anyone whoa asks. Then he came up with "Well, I like to eat!" I'm thinking to myself "Seriously? That's all you can come up with? JWs sure need to get a life!"

  • TheLiberator

    I enjoyed the program "The Amish", on the Discovery Channel. I loved how the one man assisted them to escape. It really captured how there world was the only world they knew. It was always a passing thought for me, about how perhaps I was in a similar situation. "Maybe I can't see beyond the umbrella. Maybe I haven't really experienced life. Maybe my reality is not reality." I would quickly dismiss this idea, thinking that our situation is different. However, every time I watched that show, the same thought would come to mind.

    That thought, more than I realise, actually planted a deep seed. And when I finally woke up, that program came to mind.

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    Upon reading the article in the Watchtower of November 1995 (?) about the elongating of the 'generation' count, I became wide awake. However, my family ties are so strong and they all are such JW heavies/hardcore that since then I've been confined to 'spiritual jail' inside the WTBTS in order to keep peace and togetherness.

    It's a high emotional price to pay. Living a lie is at times unbearable, and the older I become, the more it bothers me to live this way.


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