Can't deny my JW's past

StephaneLaliberte

Today was a beautiful day and so, decided to drive by my old town with my wife. At some point, she asked me to stop talking about JWs to which I said: I'm talking about were I lived, what I did and who I knew. Its just that all of it was JWs! Its what happened; can't change my past.

I understand my wife, she's not the type to be on site such as this and she tries to forget about JWs, but today was wierd in that no matter what I do, JW will always have been part of the first 35 years of my life.

What a weird feeling.

Magnum

Same with me, except it was more like 45 or 50 years. Is your wife fully POMO?

Simon

Yeah, but it becomes like when you remember some place you used to work, but forget exactly where it is and only have a vague recollection of the people and the work.

You move on, it becomes less and less part of your life. You remember that you worked there, but little else.

laverite

Simon, I left mentally when I was 18, and sent a letter of DA at 21. Born-in here. (I shouldn't have sent anything or played by their rules, so that's neither here nor there.)

It's less a part of my life, for sure, though my whole family of origin is still in it. So no contact. Still has an impact.

For me, it's nothing like forgetting where it is or a vague recollection of the people etc as you wrote. I can't speak for anyone else, but for me it's all very, very vidid, even 30 years later. It's like it was yesterday. The people, the meetings, the assemblies, the sights and sounds...The smells of the cafeteria food at the circuit assemblies, everything. I can still see it, hear it, smell it, taste it... It's all there.

The beliefs, the Watchtower Corp, etc. It's all total bull crap. That stuff was packed away a very long time ago. But the people, the experiences and the impacts are all still there.

StephaneLaliberte

Magnum: My wife is POMO, like me. We left together 5 years ago.

Simon: You’re correct that things become a bit more vague. For instance, I passed by a community center where I know I was there but can't remember what it was for. There is one difference however with a work place and when you grew up a JW: There are portions of your life that are not at that work place. You don't grow up immediately into a workplace, and the longest I've held a job so far is 6 years. I was born a JW. the first 35 years of my life was entirely IN the JWs. My friends, family, my jobs working for other JWs, field service, construction work, all those evenings, mornings, afternoon at the hall. How I was persecuted in school for my beliefs, etc. I passed by the house of a girl I turned down because I was a JW. EVERYTHING was connected to my JW beliefs. Heck, even the small waterfall is where I dedicated my life to God in prayer at 12! I'd fall asleep listening to biblical drama and would read the daily text in the morning. I'd be the one preaching at 6 am in the business district. That aint a simple job, that was my everyday life from when I was born to finally calling it quit at 35.

My point is that trying to forget my JW experience would result in forgetting my own existence.

Finkelstein

When one reflects back of how the JWS effects people as in destroying families, marriages, careers, lives all based upon accepting fictional ancient mythology and the corrupt interpretations of certain men for their own purpose and means, it leaves a comforting thought that your not involved in this human endeavor with all of its dangerous faults.

silentbuddha

I dont know if I'm crazy, but I got to the point that my past as a jw isn't such a bad memory.

It kept me out of trouble for the most part. There were bad times, but good times as well. It is just a part of my past like everyone else in this world.

The JW religion is not great, but I would rather be a JW than a muslim or some weird kind of evangelical group.

blubberyk9

I know I cannot forget those years...even if they were tinged with pain, far too much by the end of it.

When I remember my time as a JW, I remember why I went through the pain involved. I do not consider it a total loss as I did it because I was in a search for God and for the religion of love as per His Son. I learned some valuable stuff there, even if it was with a JW slant. With meditation and prayer that slant can be corrected and the info is then no longer what it was (with their take attached) but rather something useful and hopeful to me.

In fact, the reach for understanding of God need not end just because we got caught in the JW trap! God looks for sincerity of heart does He not? I feel for those who were so hurt they gave up all faith, altogether. I certainly understand how that can happen.

Jofi_Wofo

There's nothing wrong with remembering your past, even fondly, though you've now disowned most of it. It's your own history- you can choose to make your own sense of it and let it not be a bad thing.

These are the things I'm telling myself in the remaining months before ~~Armageddon~~ I finally leave, myself. Many of us stayed for so long because we benefitted from being in. I don't think I would have ever had such an opportunity to grow as a public speaker, immerse myself and gain fluency in different languages, nor even have a social life when I was pitifully shy and didn't know how to make friends.

Nostalgia is a good thing. It helps us to make peace with our past. Since we can't change any part of our past, making peace with it is the only recourse we have left.

StephaneLaliberte

Thanks laverite, you totally get me!

Can't deny my JW's past

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