A conversation that could have occurred between Jesus and a crowd he taught

by BourneIdentity 6 Replies latest social humour

  • BourneIdentity

    Jesus: "So that is why you all get sick and die, because Adam and Eve grabbed an apple from the tree that God told them not to."

    A man from the crowd: "But why are we punished for something we didn't do, we don't even know that man and woman, that was thousands of years ago!"

    Jesus: "My Father exercises perfect justice, believe me when I tell you when I say you got what was coming to you. Let me also tell you an illustration of a dented bread pan.... (the illustration continues till completion).

    A woman from the crowd: "I bake bread and I would have fixed that dent. Why didn't your Father fix the dent?"

    Jesus: (Gazes at the woman with disgust and looks away from her) "Let it also be known that Adam and Eve chose the broad and spacious path leading to destruction, but you all need to go on the narrow path, and very few are finding it."

    A man from the crowd: "But Jesus, Adam and Eve were perfect and they still couldn't walk on the narrow path. We are imperfect, we have aches and pains, we die of all sorts of diseases, we have impure thoughts and sinful tendencies. How are we supposed to do what they couldn't do with all that extra baggage we carry?"

    Jesus: "That’s not my problem, I have bigger things to worry about. My Father wants me dead to accomplish one of his purposes.”

    The crowd groans and one man shouts "Jesus Christ, we're fucked!" And that was the start of Jesus Christ's name being used in vain.

    The End.

  • waton
    My Father wants me dead to accomplish one of his purposes.”

    another man shouts, jeez, what is that?

    Jesus: "universal sovereignty. wait until watchtower explains that to you.

    btw, sacrificing a human never entered my father's mind, but he is bound by the law.

  • FFGhost

    "Blessed are the cheesemakers...."

  • waton
    "Blessed are the cheesemakers...."

    FFG: ???? cheesemakers of "cheesecake" as it was understood in my youth the 1930, 40s? or

    swiss cheese?, like wt doctrine? full of holes, holy cheese?

  • smiddy3

    According to the GB of JW`s Jesus should never have gone with Satan up the Mountain for 40 days and nights ?

    What were they doing up there all that time ? Satan is an apostate and Jesus should be brought before a judicial committee .

    For that matter Jehovah God should be rebuked for allowing Satan to come and go as he pleased before his throne for thousands of years before kicking him out of Heaven.

    And lastly their are millions if not billions of Galaxy`s and planets throughout the Universe where he could have sent Satan ,why send him down to earth to cause more harm ?

    God`s got to answer some serious questions here.

  • waton

    These days wt inc is supposed to have taking on the role of teaching the great[er] crowd.

    When Nasa was building the space center on merritt island FL,they were boasting they will go to the moon, and there I thought, still giving wt chance after chance,: " no you will not , Your god is confined to the earth as per wt illustrations, and his subjects carrying their flags, idols will be too.

    well, the voyageurs are now past the heliopause, and flags are planted on the Moon, Mars, Venus.

    humour: can you picture Bezos, Musk, Branson with hoofs and tails? reaching for the heavens?

  • St George of England
    St George of England

    Rutherford said rockets would never leave the earth's atmosphere as they would have "nothing to push against" beyond there. I imagine he never heard of Newton's laws of motion when he was at school.

    The really sad fact is that I used to believe all this twaddle.


Share this