how are you still affected?

SpiceItUp

Sure there are some of us who have been "out" for years and others that are only out by their mindset but due to many reasons still have to save face.

In what ways do you still feel the hold of the WT in you? Do you still pick out your music/movies carefully? Does nudity and/or language still offend you to a deafening degree? Do you still "judge" other by appearance? Are you still turned off my "magical" stuff (ie Harry Potter)?

What are the after effects (or side effects if you will) that you still encounter? Sometimes we may not even ralize that its a dub thing until we examine it later on.

For me I have noticed that I still constantly look to please others. I have learned that making myself happy is more important but I find that those thoughts still creep in now and then and I don't feel worthy to do something just for me.

What about you?

Jessica Rabbit

Unfortunately I am still a doormat. I still can't say no because that would be selfish if I only did what made me happy. If I did what I really wanted to do, I would pack all my belongings and move into a 1 bedroom apartment. Then I would "date" my husband. But that would be "worldly" wouldn't it?

JR - of the "Why do I think MARRIAGE is the only ANSWER"? group

freein89

My husbands great aunt passed away at age 96, at her funeral the ones gathered recited the Lord's Prayer, I recited with them, but felt weird and wished I could put my heart into it, But the JW's stole that from me and I can never get it back, I think I am incapable of ever having faith again, and believe me I have tried. They stole god from me, I do not believe and I blame the JW's-DAMN THEIR SOULS TO HELL, oh crap I can't even do that because there is no hell

Deb

lisaBObeesa

Oh yeah. I am just starting to realize how the JWs put this idea in my head that taking care of myself is selfish. And that suffering is good. I think I kinda built my life on this stupid idea . I just made a post about it called “The JW martyr complex?”

I believe in God and want to find a nice Church, but I just can’t. I can’t attend any one church more than once or twice.

And I can’t ‘join’ any group. I mean any group. It is like in a way I am still cut off from the rest of the world. I am different. I am not one of them. I am ‘outside.’

I am judgmental. I am terribly, terribly judgmental. And the scary thing is, I used to me MORE judgmental!

Oh, and I’m really hard on myself.

-LisaBObeesa

MrsQ

And I can’t ‘join’ any group. I mean any group.

I have this same problem--although not because I feel like an 'outsider' per se--but just because I feel disdain for any 'group hype'. ANYTHING--we're talking committees, teams, whatever. I am definitely scarred for life in this department, and I need to work HARD to overcome this, because I know (logically) that I need to be able to function in groups--because great things are accomplished by some groups--I still really shy away from it.

In fact, I have another religion now, but I never attend any 'services', and most of my volunteer efforts in regard to my religion are done on an individual basis...

I am judgmental. I am terribly, terribly judgmental. And the scary thing is, I used to me MORE judgmental!

Lisa, you say so MANY things that I relate to. It is amazing to be able to watch yourself from the 'outside' and be shocked at your own behavior. I, too, am still so judgemental--I really dislike this quality in myself, but I hypocritically HATE it in other people. *sigh*

They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery, right?

Still, aside from these personal challenges--nothing else bothers me--not taking blood, not rated R movies, nothing--I don't have any constraints on the way I live, except the ones I've chosen to put there myself.

Q.

smack

Christmas. I've been out over 20 years. Married a real person and had kids. jmack has always put up a tree, and took the kids to carols and opened presesnts and had a big feed on Christmas day. I feel like its nothing, nice excuse for a beer.

smack

Further to the above.. I find when a non dub prays that there is use praying along. Also when a dub prays, I fall asleep with all that spiritual food crap. Doesn't particularly bother me, just there is no real feeling there.

Steve

lisaBObeesa

I have this same problem--although not because I feel like an 'outsider' per se--but just because I feel disdain for any 'group hype'. ANYTHING--we're talking committees, teams, whatever. I am definitely scarred for life in this department, and I need to work HARD to overcome this, because I know (logically) that I need to be able to function in groups--because great things are accomplished by some groups--I still really shy away from it.

Exactly. That is exactly how I feel.

They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery, right?

I am really hoping so!

-LisaBObeesa

unique1

In what ways do you still feel the hold of the WT in you? Do you still pick out your music/movies carefully? Does nudity and/or language still offend you to a deafening degree? Do you still "judge" other by appearance? Are you still turned off my "magical" stuff (ie Harry Potter)?

1. I still have to attend meetings occassionally just to appease my parents and so they can still speak to me.

2. Nope, watch porn and cuss like a sailor.

3. Nope, never have really. I have always thought punk rockers looked cool and bikers were the nicest people on earth.

4. Not really, but I still can't deal with horror flicks, the demons terrify me still.

As for other things, I feel weird when a Non-dub prays. I feel guilty for celebrating my or others birthday but I am getting over that. I have to stop myself for spewing out common "overcoming conversation stoppers" type speach. I hear somebody talk about the trinity and it is all I can do to keep myself from telling them why that is such a stupid belief. But, again slowly but surely I am getting over that.

tinkerbell82

i feel really uncomfortable when witnesses pray around me too. and i find that those 'witness phrases' still just pop right out of my mouth without my really even thinking about it ("the truth", "out in service", "the annointed", "elders"...the other day i was talking about something to my boyfriend and i must have said something about the book study, he got all confused..."what is a book study? OH, that witness crap. those guys are too weird." :P)

i have that tendency towards doormat behavior as well. and i cannot make a decision to save my life. i used to be much worse, but my boyfriend pushes me (thankfully) to grow up in this regard. when i met him it would be impossible for me to even pick the restaurant we'd go to ("no, we'll just go where YOU want, i'm not even that hungry anyway) writing this i just now realized i never capitalize my "i"'s, not even when i'm hand writing something. that is just sad! :P

how are you still affected?

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