Ah yes Minimus, but ours is far more complicated that the world's social ladder. Let's go through it step by step:
1. At the top of the Social Order of Things within the congregation, is of course, the Presiding Overseer and his family. The wife is considered the First Lady and she knows absolutely everything that is going on in the congregation, except for the fact that her teenage son is doing drugs and masturbating 6 times a day, and that her daughter has a second wardrobe at school that resembles a hooker walking the Champs Elysees on New Year's Eve. She doesn't work outside of the home but she does go out in Service every Wednesday morning where she prays to Jehovah that whoever is taking the group doesn't stick her with anyone over the age of 60 or that black single mother who misses half the meetings because she has to work three jobs to support her family.
2. Next are the other elders and their families looming near the top. The brothers are usually a bunch of borderline alcoholics who don't really like their wives that much because they're always bugging them to make more money so that they can have the very latest of Martha Stewarts designs in the house. Some of their wives work, some don't. It depends on how much money their husbands managed to cheat their worldly siblings out of when the parents died. Those that don't work outside the home might get together once a week for a "power breakfast" where they sit there for 3 hours and gossip about the other elder's wives who aren't there. At least half of them are either bulimic or a bunch of lushes. They're tired of having sex with their husbands but would cut his balls off in an instant if he even thinks about another woman. Their Visa cards are racked up to the max, but it's worth it to have another woman's envy.
3. Then come the wannabees and kiss asses. These are usually those that want to be an MS because they KNOW how to handle the mikes now and they really feel that they can move on to bigger and better things. They go out in Service all the time just to show how spiritual they are, and they ask those in higher positions what their opinion is on EVERYTHING. This shows that they will do as they're told and that they are already practicing Elder Worship, a definite boost in climbing the social ladder. Generally speaking, these wannabees are useless in school and at their present jobs where their co-workers laugh at them. They want a "position" where they can finally look down on everyone else, and find out some interesting info on everyone in the Hall too. They are at every single meeting.
4. Pioneer sisters. This is the only way for a single sister to have any sort of social prominence in the congregation and is a good excuse not to have to work full time. It also helps if you develop either fibromyalga or chronic fatigue syndrome; that way, you can get a disability cheque every month so you don't have to work at all! Pioneering is also a good way to try and land a husband. Your position also means that you will get invited out to people's homes for supper because they feel sorry that you're still single and glad that you don't have enough brains to go get a real job.
5. Rank & File Family. This is the area that varies the most. The husband works full time and if necessary, so does the wife. They attend most meetings just to keep the elders off their backs but secretly feel like telling them to get stuffed. The mother is told what rotten, uncontrollable children she has and the father is constantly questioned as to why he doesn't keep up with getting his 10 hours in Service every month. Doesn't he want to advance in Jehovah's Organization?? The wife is councelled that perhaps she should quit her job and spend more time watching her children, so that her daughter doesn't come home pregnant by some worldly boy. The R&F Family are invited out on an average of one or maybe two times every two months.
6. Slackers, Single Parents and Non-Pioneering Welfare Families. These people are the lowest of the low. Missing meetings on a regular basis does not make you very popular. In fact, everyone else in the congregation looks down on you and will generally avoid you like the Plague unless they are unfortunate enough to have you as a Householder one night. No one will offer to invite you over for dinner because you or one of your kids might steal something out of the house. No one wants to sit close to you at any of the meetings, and will never think to call you unless it's to invite you to a Shower that they're having a hard time getting anyone else to come to. Pioneering is a waste of your time and effort. There is no point in you even trying harder, because everyone knows that Jehovah does not want losers like you in the New System.
