How to Annoy Your Co-Workers

by Yizuman 5 Replies latest social humour

• 

  Yizuman

• After every sentence, say "man" in a really bad Jamaican accent.
• At the end of a meeting, suggest that for once it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem.
• Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it"
• Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "Do you want to trade?"
• Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him or her if they want fries with that.
• Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
• Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does.
• Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
• For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
• Hi-lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as often since you did this.
• Ignore the first five people who say good morning to you
• In a meeting slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter "Shut up damn it, all of you just shut up!"
• Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
• Page yourself over the intercom and don’t disguise your voice.
• Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye".
  • Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
  • Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
  • Put your trash can on your desk and label it "IN".
  • Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
  • Run one lap around the office at top speed.
  • Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
  • Send e-mail back and forth to yourself, engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
  • Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
  • Speak with an accent during a very important conference call.
  • Clamp your hands over your ears and grimace to signal the end of a conversation.
  • When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper "Mmm, that feels soo good!"
  • While an office co-worker is out, move their chair into the elevator.
  • While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
  • While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive. Call everyone Madge.

Yiz