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The Spokane Spokesman October 5th 1996
Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses tackle custody issue
Weekend conference first to address legal difficulties of leaving the sect
By Kelly McBride Staff writer
Former Jehovah's Witnesses are gathering in Spokane this weekend to discuss child custody disputes and other bitter results of leaving the apocalyptic religious sect.
"The trauma of leaving this church is so destructive that people often implode or explode," said Jim Penton, a retired religion professor and ex-Witness. "There is a lot of breakdown, emotional and spiritual."
While former church members have met to commiserate for years, this conference is the first to address the legal difficulties encountered during divorce and custody proceedings.
"It's becoming _the_ issue for people who have left the church but still want to have some say in the way their children are raised, said Penton, who is among the few dozen people attending the conference. "The church can be pretty ruthless. They train children to alienate non-Witness parents."
Richard Rawe, a Soap Lake, Wash., resident excommunicated from the church in 1977, has been helping other ex-Witnesses since then. He said he is increasingly contacted by parents frustrated by their dealings with the church during legal proceedings.
"The church has a gaggle of about 60 attorneys which they will dispatch to members who need legal assistance," Rawe said. "It doesn't make a very even playing field."
Merton Campbell, a Jehovah's Witness spokesman in Brooklyn, N.Y., would not comment on Rawe's allegations. Local church authorities also declined to comment.
Campbell and other church leaders, though, said they didn't know about the sponsors of the conference, Bible Research and Commentary International, whose board is composed entirely of former paid church officers.
Church officials said they never advocate their followers violate court orders or state laws. But they acknowledged their doctrine of shunning former members leaves little room for non-Witness parents in the lives of children who are active in the church.
Jehovah's Witnesses tell children they can associate with their non-Witness parents until they are adults, said Campbell. But once they become adults, they must choose between continuing that association or remaining part of the church. "We believe that we are obeying what the Bible has to say on that," Campbell said.
Jehovah's Witnesses, also known by their corporate moniker, the Watchtower Society, are a Christian sect that preaches the end of the world is near. The church has prepared for Armageddon on four different dates this century, but each time the believers have been disappointed.
In addition to their practice of proselytizing door-to-door, they are most often noted for their refusal to accept blood or organ transplants, salute the flag or serve in the military.
The church teaches that governments and other worldly organizations are agents of the devil. Members consider holidays or birthday celebrations forms of idolatry.
Catholics and Protestants generally regard Jehovah's Witnesses as heretics, because of their unorthodox beliefs, including the teaching that Jesus was a mere human being and not divine. Witnesses in turn believe the rest of Christianity has lost its true meaning and followers are being misled by Satan.
At the conference, which continues today and Sunday at Cavanaugh's Fourth Avenue hotel, attendees stood up one by one to share their moment of epiphany when they decided to break with the church.
Rueben Mecado of Spokane said that going to the funeral of a mother of five who bled to death during childbirth because she refused a blood transfusion raised questions in his mind.
His wife, Marlene, a third-generation Witness, said she watched her youngest son become socially isolated because the church teaches that children should not be involved in any extracurricular activities.
Sherry Veitenheimer, also from Spokane, said she was shocked to hear an elder proclaim that an abused woman should stay married to her abuser, but that divorce was acceptable if one spouse prevented the other from attending church.
"Once you accept that someone else is speaking for God, to doubt that source is the same as doubting God," she said. Because former members are shunned, choosing to leave the church is often just as painful as staying, said Ron Frye, president of the ex-Witness group holding this weekend's convention.
Former church members have formed several of their own organizations, such as the Bible Research and Commentary International, and are widely represented on the Internet's World Wide Web.
Penton encouraged former church members to continue speaking out, but not to dwell on the bad experiences of others. "I read these accounts on the Internet and it's like opening up old wounds," he said. "We don't want to be spiritual scab pickers. It does no good. we need to be positive about it."
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Here is good proof of Watch Tower Publishing Corporation family policy. Comments? GaryB
they must choose between parents or church says Merton Campbell
by garybuss 10 Replies latest jw friends
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garybuss
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SealingSalamander
Yes, these are excellent examples.
What about when you grow up in the dreaded divided household?? That's no fun. What about when the JW parent wants a divorce but doesn't have the scriptural grounds to get one??
There's nothing that the good lil' Dub parent can do but make it very clear to ApostaParent that Dub is staying for the sake of Jehovah and the children. This just alienates Apostate even further, eventually causing A to give up and not have any involvement with kids. Dub is so bitter and persecuted Dub pours all attention into saving kids and making sure kids know exactly what an SOB Apostate is.
Nobody wins- but God and the Congregation are happy everthing's going by the book.
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garybuss
Sealing, I was feeling trapped too. I made my decision to go public when my youngest son was in high school. The older ones had graduated. The oldest two were Witness loyalists when I made my experience public. They were already shunning me on many levels and I had nothing to loose by trying to help other victims. There is no marriage when one spouse's extreme loyalty is to a book publishing corporation to the exclusion of all else. All that can be left is a financial partnership.
I hope you can find a comfortable place. Thanks for the post. GaryB -
garybuss
This is the article the local Witnesses saw on the front page of their daily paper.
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Argus Leader, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Tuesday, Jan. 23, 1996
Page 1
By CARSON WALKER
Argus Leader Staff
Twenty-five years ago, Gary Busselman watched his wife, Delores, die of leukemia. As Jehovah's Witnesses, the couple did not believe in blood transfusions or a bone-marrow transplant that may have helped her. Today, Busselman thinks the refusal of those medical procedures was wrong and he wants to help others who may have experienced similar tragedies.
"At that time they forbade transplants. They called it cannibalism." he said. "She died in 1971 and in 1980 they changed their rule and members since then can get transplants."
"I don't know if she would have recovered with the transplant, but she threw away a 50 percent chance. She deserved that chance, since nine years after, they changed that rule. "Busselman left the Jehovah's Witnesses in 1974. Recently, he's been using newspaper ads and telephone answering machine to find others who may have questions about Jehovah's Witnesses doctrine. The response has been so heavy, that the church Busselman now attends has decided to hold a forum to answer questions about Jehovah's Witnesses' beliefs. Harvest Covenant Church, will hold a two-hour seminar Saturday.
"We're not trying to persecute Kingdom Hall." the Rev. Steve Hickey, pastor of Harvest Covenant, said about the hall where Jehovah's Witnesses meet. "Based on the overwhelming response to the phone line we've decided to have a forum. "Local Jehovah's Witnesses leaders would not respond to repeated requests to discuss the denomination's doctrine or Busselman's concerns. But Merton Campbell of the Jehovah's Witnesses headquarters in Brooklyn, N.Y., said members never have been forbidden from seeking medical help.
Jehovah's /See 4A
Argus Leader, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Tuesday, Jan. 23, 1996
Page 4A
"I've been a member since 1938. What (Busselman's) saying is not accurate," Campbell said. However, current literature from the Watchtower and Tract Society, the Jehovah's Witnesses' corporate body, explains why the organization does not allow blood transfusions. An article in a recent issue of the Watchtower, the Jehovah's Witnesses' bimonthly publication on doctrine, reads: "Jehovah's Witnesses stand out as unique and often receive bad publicity because of their not accepting blood transfusions. This position, however, is solidly based on the Bible. It shows that God condemns the misuse of blood, since blood is
precious in his eyes.
"As a result of examining the scriptures on this subject. Jehovah's Witnesses conclude that the Bible's directive to 'abstain from blood' would clearly include the modern practice of transfusing blood."
Campbell would not discuss in detail questions about the Jehovah's Witnesses' philosophy on medical treatment. "We're not doing anything in secret. People have been going door-to-door since the 1800s and the organization has grown fast over the last couple of years," he said. "When I became an associate there were only 50.000 all around the world." Now the United States has 956,346 members and there are 5,199,895 world-wide, he said. In Sioux Falls, three congregations of witnesses meet several times a week at Kingdom Hall, 4900 W. 49th St. Busselman estimates about 350 members attend.
Opponents often use the media "to make trouble for Jehovah's Witnesses," Campbell said. "We don't have much argument with them. They have the right to say what they want," he said. "With everything, there's always somebody who gets unhappy and disagrees.''
'Disfellowship'
Busselman, now 51, spent 23 years as a witness. He left after deciding that the group's biblical interpretations and prophecies -- particularly those predicting the end of the world -- were not Godly based, he said. Busselman said he now helps other former witnesses and counsels them on what he calls the shunning they receive when they leave the denomination.
One of the Watch Tower Society's rules bars members from associating with former members -- a practice called "disfellowship," Busselman said.
Busselman's parents, brother and other relatives who are witnesses don't speak to him, he said.
Campbell said the Bible talks about not mixing with fornicators "We don't hate people. We hate what they do. When they do something morally that disagrees with the Bible, then such persons who are totally unrepentive are disfellowshipped," he said.
For Bill Pike of Sioux Falls, that disfellowship came at age 18 when he started smoking. "According to them, I didn?t show repentance," said Pike, 37 whose parents are still witnesses. "They got out Bibles and started blasting me why I shouldn't be smoking. When I walked out the door, I was no longer a member. I felt that God had thrown me away. "
Campbell said smoking is a practice worthy of disfellowship:
"Smoking would be something that defiles the body and we believe we should not smoke. And anyone who's dedicated and baptized and wants to carry on smoking, that's his business. He can't be one of the organization."
Another former member, Dennis White of Sioux Falls, 53, now leads a Bible study at Harvest Covenant. He was a member from age 8 until about 12 years ago. He was disfellowshipped "for conduct unbecoming a Christian," but didn't elaborate on what that meant. Since then his mother, three sisters and oldest son have shunned him, White said. "I felt lost and abandoned by God," he said.
Deon Barlow of Sioux Falls, 38, said she was a Jehovah's Witness for only 1 1/2 years. She was recruited by a woman who came to her door "and caught me at a vulnerable time in my life." Barlow said she was abusing alcohol and her ex-husband was abusing her. She divorced, went into alcohol treatment, got the job Jehovah's Witnesses wanted her to -- working for them -- and went door-to-door 60 hours a month. When Barlow found out her
brother was dying of AIDS, she asked to visit him. A church elder consented but frowned on it.
"My brother was detestable in God's eyes because he was gay," she said she was told. "So when I saw him, I treated him like dirt. To this day I regret that." Her brother has since died.
When she returned home, the woman who had recruited her found her drinking. The elders ruled the alcohol use and the visit to her brother were evidence enough to disfellowship her.
When contacted by telephone, the leader of Kingdom Hall in Gordon, Neb., where Barlow lived at the time, said he was not interested in talking and hung up.
Power of attorney
Busselman, who supports his case with reams of the WatchTower and Tract Society's writings, said he also is concerned about witnesses who give power of attorney, or living will privileges, to church elders, instead of non-witness family members.
Busselman, whose two oldest sons are witnesses, said by signing power of attorney over to an elder, the individual gives the church leader the legal right to deny a transfusion needed to survive.
"I would sit there and watch my son die," he said. "That's why I want to educate the community...that you will be asked to shun your non-Jehovah's Witnesses friends and relatives and your kids will die. This is serious.
"I (also) want to contact people who the Jehovah's Witnesses has cast away. We have a support group and I want them to know there is support here for them."
End of world
The foundation of Jehovah's Witnesses end-time philosophy is centered around the year 1914. Early church leaders predicted the world would end when that generation started. Since then, doctrine has indicated that the end of the world would come "before the generation that saw the events of 1914 passes away."
A Nov. 8, 1994, publication of one of the Jehovah's Witnesses' magazines, Awake, explains the significance of the year 1914.
"The fulfillment of Bible prophecy indicates that we have been living in the times of the end since 1914. Jesus described this time as 'beginning with pangs of distress.'... The fact that we are now 80 years beyond 1914 indicates that we can soon expect the deliverance that God's Kingdom will bring." according to the magazine.
But late last year -- one year after that prediction -- Jehovah's Witnesses fine-tuned that prophecy.
The Nov, 1, 1995, issue of The .Watchtower explains that the church will no longer focus on a specific date for Armageddon.
"We do not need to know the exact timing of events. Rather, our focus must be on being watchful, cultivating strong faith, and keeping busy in Jehovah's service -- not on calculating a date," The Watchtower stated.
The society's Campbell, reading from a written statement explaining the change, said: "This is not a major change in the witnesses' theology. They have always believed that the 'sign'
began to be fulfilled in 1914 and that the end of this 'system of things' is close; it is not delayed or put off."
Busselman disagrees: "They change these doctrines as I change T-shirts -- as needed."
Many Christian denominations believe that God, through the Bible, asks people not to spend time trying to figure out a date for the second coming. "Jesus said no one knows the
date or hour," Hickey said.
By changing the prophesied dates of Armageddon, shunning former members and changing philosophies on what medical procedures are allowed, Jehovah's Witnesses may have hurt people, Hickey said.
"A person would have been disfellowshipped by the JW elders six months ago for believing what they are now calling 'truth' today." he said.
?It is another thing to vacillate on teaching about vaccinations, organ transplants and blood transfusions. When these teachings don't pan out, it's too late. People like Delores Busselman die."
End
Gary Busselman [email protected] -
rocketman
The church has prepared for Armageddon on four different dates this century, but each time the believers have been disappointed.
Very true......and they blame it on the believers.
His wife, Marlene, a third-generation Witness, said she watched her youngest son become socially isolated because the church teaches that children should not be involved in any extracurricular activities.
So true, and so many kids have missed out on so much.
"We don't want to be spiritual scab pickers. It does no good. we need to be positive about it."
Very good point by Mr. Penton. But, sadly, the "scabs" are often scars that reach very deep, and the hurt can go on and on, like it would obviosly in a custody situation. Just one rason why boards like this and the BRCI and other similar groups are so helpful. -
JT
Merton Campbell
I used to love this man, he was one of my New Boy Instructors and a mentor- he was one of the few white Heavies who took me under his arm-
He invited me to give a talk at his hall , his wife was well known for Interior decorating at bethel and lots of the NYC Halls
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garybuss
Campbell must have lost his job of answering the phone to Brown. Now Brown does the town!
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JT
Campbell must have lost his job of answering the phone to Brown. Now Brown does the town!
well stated indeed= IN MY VIEW BROWN is one of the slickest dudes you will ever met I know - we used to call him the Society's version of a Black Louis Farakann
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onacruse
JT, I concur with your "love this man" comment about Merton. He studied with my folks in NYC, back in the early 50s. So, when I went to Bethel in the early 70s, I naturally looked forward to meeting him. We didn't have too much interaction, but he was always kind, and struck me as a basically honest-hearted fellow.
I heard that he stepped aside from being the WTS PR-man, perhaps as a little "crisis of conscience" issue? Only anecdotal, though. Maybe you, or someone else here, has heard the same?
Craig
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garybuss
It was so easy to show the Publishing Corporation as it is with Campbell on the phone. All I had to do is tell the reporter what Campbell would say before he said it and refute him in advance. When the reporter called, Campbell followed my line like he had a script. He was beautiful. Brown has that whine. He's got more corners than a Missouri road map. Makes this all fun again.