Hi:
I'm fairly new, so many of you don't know me. I've spoken with some of you and I guess to understand my story I need to go back a little bit. The bottom line is it feels like my family is falling apart. My father, who until yesterday was an elder, has been disfellowshipped.
My parents became Witnesses when I was four years old. I am the oldest of three girls. I was baptized in 1992 at the age of 15, following a lot of pressure from elements in my then congregation. Because of my fathers job we moved around a lot (overseas). Over time I came to the decision that this was not the "truth" and that I no longer wanted to be a JW so I started the slow fade, and have been fading for eight years. My parents and sisters are/were faithful, devoted witnesses, both of my sisters are regular pioneers and my father was an elder. Five years ago my father had to go away because of work for two years, although we saw him every six months. After that two years assignment my father and mother were back together and presumably everything was okay. Last week my father broke down in tears and told my Mom (over the phone) that while he was away for the two year assignment he had had an affair with a woman on and off over a one year period. According to him he never had sex with the woman but they showered together, slept together in the same bed and made out. He said he felt really guilty about it and didn't want to hurt my Mom which is why he didn't tell her earlier. Following this assignment (where he had the affair), when my parents were back living together he felt a tremendous amount of pressure from the elders and missionaries in his congregation (again, this is in an overseas country) to become an elder and although he says he didn't want to do it he served as an elder for three years before he finally told my Mom about what happened. My Mom is devastated, understandably. My father decided he had to talk to the elders about it (he's brand new in this congregation because he's just been transferred again) and despite knowing nothing about him, despite the fact that he is an emotional wreck, despite the fact that my mom and him are going to try and work things out, despite the fact that he prayed for forgiveness, the elders told him that they are going to announce his disfellowshipping in two weeks time.
This is where someone with more experience than me can come in. How in the hell can he be disfellowshipped if he's repentant? The elders claim that the fact he didn't fess up for 3 years and served as an elder in the meantime is the key reason why they are disfellowshipping him. But isn't disfellowshipping for people who aren't unrepentant? My father has done a lot of good in the 22 years that he's been a witness. While living in third world countries he's helped congregations buy land to build on, given employment to witnesses, etc. Does none of this matter? He made a monumentally huge mistake. No one is denying this, especially not him, and it will take me a while to get over this, but I am just in total shock that they would have decided to disfellowship him. I'm sure some of you out there will comment that at least he is free (etc), but in reality, despite the fact that I hated being a witness and that I have an intense dislike for the FDS/WTBTS, I really liked the fact that my parents were witnesses. I always knew what to expect, it offered continuity and stability in my life.
This is going to be monumentally catastrophic for my family. One of my sisters is married to a bethelite. They are both superwits, I don't know how they are going to take it. My other sister and I discussed this briefly. I know what my stand is. I think I know how the other sister is going to be. This is going to be horrible for my Mom. Now people can't come over to teh house, she won't get invited out much, I mean this is so * up. I'm so mad as a I write this, I apologize if I'm rambling, but I just don't know what to do or think. My dad is flying to see my Mom for the first time since he broke the news to her as I write this.
Lucia