My sister is getting married on July 27th. She is marrying a Catholic, after being raised a Witness, but she has been living with him for over a year, so she has not been approved of by my parents for a while. As the black sheep of the family myself, I have helped her to get over the needing to please the parents thing and see that she will never be able to. Well....she called me in tears because not only is my stepfather (her father) NOT going to walk her down the aisle (the wedding isn't even at a church), my brother has some misgivings about it AND my mother has given her this huge lecture about how she hoped they weren't going to have a prayer at the wedding, because that would be wrong...Oh, she also expressed disgust that my sister is going to have me and the best man read a scripture from the bible....It's just sad, you know? What is supposed to be the best day of my sister's life is being used to hurt her so they can get across their point...One funny thing is that my birthday is two days before the wedding, so I am going to fly into Indiana on Thursday and then we are going to go celebrate my birthday Friday night, while my mom babysits my youngest! Wonder if she'll even realize what day it is?
Never ceases to amaze me...
by stephaniesays 5 Replies latest jw experiences
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Makena1
Yes - don't you just love that "conditional love" thing?
Sorry that your parents are ruining this special day for your sister.
If it's any consolation, tell her that when I got married, my father (presiding overseer) almost did not come to my wedding AT THE KINGDOM HALL! Keep in mind that I was a regular pioneer at the time and trying to do everything by the book - just not his book.
You see, I was 19, and he wanted me to follow in his footsteps and go to Bethel. It also did not help that my bride was 18 (regular vacation pioneer), a different race (Latin/black), and had no other family in the borg but her bipolar mother.
He ended up coming at the last minute after my cousin (another elder) told him he was basically being a jerk. Things got better for awhile - but no happy endings here. sorry!
Best regards,
Mak
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caligirl
I'm sorry that they are doing this to your sister. It sounds like you have been a great support to her. Just keep encouraging her to have her wedding the way she and her fiance want it and not to give in to the attempts to manipulate her day to suit their beliefs. The parents aren't going to be pleased no matter what given the circumstances, so there is no sense in changing what she wants for her wedding to please them.
If her father refuses to walk her down the aisle, that will be his loss, and something that he can never make up for. Is there a special Uncle or Grandfather or friend that would be willing to take the honor of walking her down the aisle? Her father will be the one with the explaining to do as to why he refused to walk his daughter down the aisle, not her.
I hope that your sister will have a beautiful wedding day and that it can happen the way she wants it to despite all this turmoil.
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Maverick
The duds are trained to be spoilers. Conform or be punished! Shame on them! Maverick
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JamesThomas
Hey Steph, Life in a broken JW family can be so chaotic, and painful, and sad. My advise is just be as loving and supportive as you can be in this situation and any others. Sorry, I seem to have missed your introductory post so: JamesT
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little witch
Gee, I am sorry for you and your sister, Steph.
When will they ever learn, that meaness, and control techniques don't work...sigh...
On a brighter note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR STEPHANIESAYS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!