How do elders know when someone is ready to be reinstated?

by marsal 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Bendrr
    Bendrr

    They determine repentance by the amount of groveling by the "condemned".

    I was once told by my old hall's PO, James Kelly currently somewhere in Atlanta, an uptight pompous self-righteous effiminate limp-wristed masturbation-obsessed useless damn-yankee, the things I'd have to do in order to be considered for reinstatement. At all times, either be at work, home, or at every meeting. While at home, nothing but studying the Society's publications. No going out with friends. No TV. No movies. No recreation. Lose the worldly girlfriend. Once I'd done all that, contact them and "we'll talk about it".

    My kid brother has been going thru the same ordeal. He's self employed as an interior contractor (wallpaper and stuff like that). His work takes him all over the place so sometimes he can't make the meeting at his home congregation and goes to the nearest KH. But he makes all the meetings. That's strike one against him as far as the elders are concerned. If he's not at their Hall, they don't consider him to be making the meeting. One of them also told him that he should study every day. Well so he misses a day sometimes. Strike two. Little petty trivial shit like that is preventing his reinstatement. I'll give the guy credit, he's busting his ass to get reinstated. But just this one jerkoff elder is holding the whole thing up, seeing how much he can make my brother crawl and beg. And getting off on the whole power trip.

    F*ck those assholes! If they want me to come back they can start kissing my ass!

    Mike.

    p.s. All of you northerners please don't take offense at my use of "yankee" in the derogatory sense. Not all yankees are like James Kelly. (fortunately)

    p.s.s. Any of you lurkers in Atlanta who recognize the name James Kelly......Steer clear of the man! I know that he was not too long ago removed from his position as elder. Not sure why, but I have heard "some things". Keep your kids away from him too.

  • Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.
    Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.

    There are several key points that the elders take into consideration -

    Appearance - the candidate will display a smug look of self-righteousness. An aura of salvation will also be present.

    Aroma - the candidate will have that unmistakable air of hypocrisy.

    Audible evidence - the candidate will be mumbling words like 'sorry', 'repentence', 'erred' etc, etc, etc.

    Touch - the candidate will feel all warm and fuzzy - full of love and kindness.

    And probably the most important of all -

    Associated External Evidence - in all cases at re-instatement meetings there will be unavoidable evidence of a large pool of vomit - to which the candidate is returning.

    cheeses - who has no pity for any 'dipshat' who returns to that life wasting society of arseholes.

  • Francois
    Francois

    They get out a special pair of rocks. One is called Urim. The other is called Thumin. They roll these rocks down a highly polished rosewood table. The rocks tell them what to do. This is how JW elders "get their rocks off."

    Other questions?

  • blackout
    blackout

    When I got reinstated it took six months, during that time I had to be at ALL the meetings, not miss one. No association was allowed, either with worldly people, other disfellowshipped ones or witnesses. In other words you are in solitary confinement for 6 months, luckily I was married and so had my partner to keep me sane.

    I had 3 meetings with the elders and they gave me scriptures to study mostly about repentance, I think some were about Davids repentant attitude. Then basically I had to suck and grovel and I was reinstated. They make you suffer to the last minute then suddenly you are back in and announced at the next meeting.

  • StinkyPantz
    StinkyPantz

    They tie a big rock to you. If you sink, then you are truly repentant, if you float, you are not yet repentant enough.

  • teejay
    teejay

    They wait for the leadings of jehovah's powerful holy spirit...

    Then, too... what Latte said.

  • Mr. Kim
    Mr. Kim

    Does it matter?

  • Mr. Kim
    Mr. Kim

    How do elders know when someone is ready to be reinstated?

    1. Flip a coin.

    2. How much have you sucked up to the elders?

    3. Will you kiss the butts of the mighty ones over you?

    4. Do you donate at least $100.00 monthly?

    5. Do you promise not to sue them for crimes against God and Humanity?

    ???????????

  • Oxnard Hamster
    Oxnard Hamster
    They tie a big rock to you. If you sink, then you are truly repentant, if you float, you are not yet repentant enough.

    And if you do float, the next thing they do is proceed to burn you at the stake, since you are probably beyond hope anyway.

  • core
    core

    As with all things WT it depends on how the pendulum is swinging at the time.....

    Elders have been told ....

    " take a hard line, you are taking too hard a line, be balanced (i.e. take a hard line), look at the sin and not the sinner, too many are getting disfellwoshipped, not enough are getting disfellowshipped etc etc at every circuit visit / circuit assembly elders meeting "

    It largely depends on where you live (WHY? shoul not truth be universal) ..but it does .. are your local elders humans or fanatics? Is the current circuit overseer a thug or a human? What influence does any one fanatic elder hold over the body... all are sadly relevant which goes to show how Holy Spirit does NOT work

    Scriptural answer is works of repentance..but who is qualified to determine what such are and to what level a person has done them.

    As has been said earlier.. dont bother...it is really not worth it

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