Open letter to my family

by DannyBear 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • DannyBear
    DannyBear

    Dear Family,

    Well I suppose a better salutation would be, Dear former family,
    since I have only briefly seen sister BP on two or three occasions in the last 20 years.
    D and B not even a word once, it is safe to say, we are no longer a family unit. We share
    the same blood, but have no ties that bind. The simple pleasures of following each others
    life's course, successes and failures, have been denied. This shattered family legacy is not
    ours alone. The ripple effect will carry on for several generations after we are all gone.

    My daughters and their children will never know anything of substance, about me or my life.
    Only some half-truths, innuendo, and outright lies, formulated to 'ease the pain' and justify the
    the act of shunning me. It is said that 'history repeats itself', no truer words in our case
    and in our family history can apply. Shunning, disfellowshiping, disowning, rejection,
    goes way back with us. The L's and W's learned well, early on how to apply this family
    destroyer called shunning. I know it is not easy for you to see the insidious ruin this
    'doctrine' of division, has wreaked upon countless thousands of family units all over the
    world, but it most assuredly has! The very idea that a loving creator of
    the family unit, would encourage or promote this dogma is ludicrous, to say the least.

    The only way I can express to you my frustration, in trying to relate these words without
    raising red flags of defensive condemnation from you, is to try and appeal to your
    powers of reason.

    Here goes;

    Does dunking one accused of wrongdoing in a pool of water, until almost drowned, prove or
    disprove one's guilt? Does branding or sewing a big letter A onto the person of an accused
    adulterer assuage or even offer a deterrence to adultery? Does answering a list of questions
    prepared by inquisitors, prove by the answers elicited that the person is pure of heart?
    Does public whipping insure that 'the devil' has been been cast out of the wrongdoer?

    Silly questions you say, we do not carry on like those early Puritans, we are way beyond
    that. Maybe not so far from the 'tree' as you may think.

    Consider these archaic methods before excusing the current in vogue methods being applied
    by the WTBS towards those whose only sin (wrongdoing) may well be 'questioning the commands
    of men'. I know why I was disfellowshiped. it was for adultery. That act was wrong and it
    was destructive. After 20 years that act no longer defines my life or self worth. It
    was a symptom of a far deeper issue. For that act or any other personal life experiences,
    shy of murder, to culminate in the loss of all family ties, to promote the 'puritanical'
    heavy handed 'once judged' always condemned dogma of disfellowshiping, is outright evil
    and totally distorted.

    Why evil? I cannot even begin to share all of the tremendous volume of personal experiences
    now being shared by thousands recorded on the Internet, about heartbreaking rupture of
    family ties and love losses, as the WTBS continues its 'witch hunts' and public drownings of
    both young and old. These are feeling, living human beings, whose sometime only fault is the
    exercise of ones own thinking and reasoning ability. Not some shady, clandestine sexual
    perversion or even a crime that would require exercise of Caesar's law against them. No
    they simply choose not to be in a religion anymore! For this so called 'apostasy' they
    wind up loosing all blood ties, all their history, some like myself have coped and gone on
    with life. Many cannot take the loss, and find themselves in deep depression or on the
    verge of suicide. Other's far to many end it all.

    The next time you callously turn your face away from one of these 'shunned', ask yourself,
    could I be the one that pushes this fellow human over the edge? Could I by my sanctioning
    the draconian methods being utilized by an organization of men, be in fact promoting a
    practice that is far from 'godly', in reality as close to evil and unholy as was the
    inquisitions of the early 'catholic' hierarchy? Who's hierarchy will you attribute so much
    pain and suffering? God's? If you have one once of human feeling, if you have even a remote doubt
    in your mind, about the justification Biblical or otherwise, about this doctrine of
    'DISFELLOWshiping' you owe it to your conscience, and to your loved ones, to take a look
    at some of these stories. Just type the words Jehovah's Witnesses in to any search engine.
    Read without the blinders of prejudice or preconceived ideas. Read as if for the first time
    in your life....read and see if you do not weep along with the rest of us.

    Us, those who have been forever denied the love and solace only real blood can offer.

    Your brother,

    Danny

  • sf
    sf

    {{{{{{{DannyBoy}}}}}}}

    How are you feeling now, after such a release of "toxic waste" that you just "vomited"? Take a long hot bath Danny and put on your very favorite music loud and just soak. You've done good for your spirit, now go relax your body. It goes through alot after such a release. And please, take the hug with you.

    Love, Scallywagger/"wturls" on yahoo voice

  • DannyBear
    DannyBear

    Hello Scally dear,

    You hit it...it was just like vomiting out stuff, that I have wanted to say directly to my sisters for along time now. It may in fact be the only opportunity for me to do so. I agonized on trying to put it in words that would not evoke the bible or other rule books.

    You know I did in fact go and take a hot shower right after composing and posting the letter!!

    Thanks for your comment. Hope all is well with you and the 'not so little' one.

    Regards,

    Dan

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Hi Danny Boy,

    That was eloquent and very touching. Thank you for sharing it.

    JWs are so used to this practice that I'm sure many or most of them become numb to it and its consequences. It is simply a way of life for them. JWs are numb to nearly everything but the materialism of their future life in a new world that will never some. They are numb to the pain and suffering by the poor and down-trodden in this world. They are numb to the starving children and rampant disease in third-world countries. They are numb not only to the sad plight of those who aren't their own, but to those who are their own: they are notorious for not even helping their own in a time of need.

    They are also numb in their brains after so much mind-numbing repetition at the meetings, assemblies and in their literature. They are ALSO to be pitied, since they not only permanently damage ones they are supposed to love, but have chosen to spend their entire lives semi-anesthetized, semi-conscious, semi-aware and dedicated to selling worthless books and magazines that promise everything and deliver nothing for a world-wide printing Corporation whose only concern is its own self-perpetuation; at any cost, even that of the lives of human victims who worship their every word, no matter what damage it does to themselves and their families. The followers are easily expendible. The Corporation is not. The Corporation is EVERYTHING. The followers are nothing but servants (slaves) of the Corporation. The entire purpose of the Corporation has become "survival of the Corporation." It doesn't matter who it damages, why it damages them, or how it damages them, as long as the Corporation can still go on.

    By comparison, your plight (as tragic as it is) could be far worse.

    You could still be one of "them".....

    Farkel

  • sf
    sf

    Haha, actually, she just went over to her friends house. She is so active and always on the go. I need to confer with her just to see her sometimes. hahaha (shes 9 1/2) Smart as a whip too. Think she'd be anything else but with Scally as her momma? She will be well armed in this world with knowledge that leads to her very existense on THIS earth, for years to come.

    bwahhhhh, the other day she was reading out of the encyclopedia on yahoo mess chat to the whole room, all about the history of jws according to the ency. They were cheering her on, kudos abound! Get this! At the end SHE notices the footnote. She reads it and gives me an okie dokie look...like "hey mom, they DO lie, don't they?" We all busted. It was a priceless, educational moment to behold.

    Danny, it would be great if you can get into the chat site on yahoo VOICE CHAT sometime soon and join us. Get on Uncs butt to download it too. Love ya babe!!

    The Scallywagger

  • Tina
    Tina

    (((((((((((((((((((bearishone)))))))))))))))I missed you!! So good to see you!
    Poignant post,,,,,, luv,Owlie

    Carl Sagan on balancing openness to new ideas with skeptical scrutiny...."if you are open to the point of gullibility and have not an ounce of skeptical sense,you cannot distinguish useful ideas from worthless ones."

  • jurs
    jurs

    Hugs to you from JURS

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce

    G'day Danny, ditto to Scally and Farkelmeisters coments above,

    That was a heartwrenching read. My eldest left home this weekend to live in her own place in a city several hours away - it's a real strange feeling but I am very lucky that the four of us are and always will be close. You're right - blood ties are more precious than just about anything and for strangers to come along and sever that in the name of religion or anything else, is totally unforgivable and a sure sign of cult insanity.

    ****

    Hay Scally, thanks for sharing about mini-scally (like momma like daughter (Pity the poor kid even knows about any of this stuff - my girls eyes glaze over whenever anything 'fundamentalist' or biblical is mentioned - self-empowering stuff is much more fun) cheers beach babes!

    ****

    Hey Farkel - do you really think Danny-bear-butt could 'still be one of "them"' hehehe ... sorry, please executes me, I'll be serious now - shit, it must be the bong talking [:)}:):)]

    ****

    Oi Owlie! Don't get lost in all that fur :)

    Sleep with bears - wake up in Spring (Old Ute saying - God doesn't even know what it means)

  • TR
    TR

    Hey Danny,

    I'm with you, man. I too, may be in jeopardy of losing my older brother to this cult.

    TR

    "cults suck"

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    {{{hugs}}} to DannyBear

    I can imagine getting that off your chest was a HUGE relief. I know the act of shunning is painful and downright unloving. I hope you are able to find a way of moving on.

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