Hi

by heff 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • heff
    heff

    Hello everyone,

    I have been lurking around here for quite some time now, posted a few short replies, and engaged in a little chat from time to time. Its almost hard to remember, just a few months back, feeling like I was the only one to live through a JW experience and not be sorry that I am no longer a part of it. I am very happy to have found this site.

    I would like to better introduce myself as I have seen several others do.

    I was born in '78 to a fanatical JW mother and an unbelieving alcholic father. I find it hard to remember much about my childhood, especially any happy moments. My mother and father fought constantly, untill my mother legally seperated from him when I was around 7 or so. I planned to run away and live with him when I was older. Even though he was dirt poor and abusive, I knew it would be better than living in the organization. Two years later, he passed out drunk in bed with a lit cigarette and that was the end of him.

    I was severely depressed as a child, always the quiet one. I felt horrible that I entertained doubts, well, I guess I should say utter hatred, towards the organization. I was forced into baptism at a very young age so as not too look bad because someone else in the congregation was baptised younger. This is when I recieved the only wrapped gift in the first 18 years of my life; a leather bound NWT with my name and baptism date embossed on the front...YEAH!!, just what I had always wanted.

    I remember wanting to die at several times. Coming back to school from Christmas break listening to everyone talk about what they had gotten or where they went. Being escorted out of the room for birthdays, refusing valentines, turning down parties, sitting like a fool while everyone paid respect to our great country. Ultimately, when I was caught with a "worldly" girlfriend in my freshman year of high school, I was immediately forced to take home school. This was the start of my "coming out".

    Before this I had lived an elaborately constructed "double-life". Model-pioneer-witness to one group of people crazy-badass-druggie to another group. It was evident that one of my personnas had to come to an end and it took no thought to decide which one it would be. I stopped service/meetings/assemblies overnight at 16. df'd at 17 because I got smoking on several occasions (and thats how long it took them to finally drag me in for a meeting). I was swiftly kicked out of the house on my 18th birthday, never to speak a single word with my family since.

    Until I stumbled in on this site (looking for WT site to see if their view on end of days was still holding water), this was my dirty little secret. I moved away from my hometown and have never told a soul I was once a witness. I still sweat when someone tells a JW joke or talks about a visit.

    I think what sets me apart from most of the people here is that I never made the decision to be a JW. It never seemed like a good idea to me. I have a loathing for the society and everyone in it. Fred this means you!!

    Well, there you have it. Dont know why I posted this, but for some reason I've been wanting to do it for some time.

  • bonnie38
    bonnie38

    Welcome.
    Bonnie

  • sf
    sf

    Hello there!

    Glad you DID find us. Every story I read is so dynamic, no matter how it relates to that dangerous kult. (ha! my first time using a "k"~as she ponders a moment~) Your story has many similarities to mine, and one of these days, the nations shall hear it. To type it out would be excruciating physically, so I try to give pieces. Someday it will all be said and DONE!

    Looking forward to reading more about your experiences. Thank you for the health "vomit"...I don't mind. In fact, let me your toilet whenever you need it. Dramatic, yea, I know. So is volitile "toxic waste" when it ruptures.

    Love Scally (gets off on "healthy vomit" class) bwahhhhhhhh...only Venice would Know what I am trying to PROJECT...hahahaha....here!

  • slipnslidemaster
    slipnslidemaster

    I'm glad that you stumbled across us. Please post some more and enjoy yourself here. Welcome!

    You are not alone.

    My name is Slipnslideius Masterus: commander of the armies of the North, general of the Felix legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius...

  • Had Enough
    Had Enough

    Hi Heff:

    You are very welcome here and certainly not alone.

    Your story is a sad one but so typical of how many feel trapped and cannot see their way out. Many live with guilt and doubts of their own self-worth and those that make it out, or are on their way out, or are still trapped but want out, find here, a mountain of encouragement, support, understanding and the occasional straightening out when needed.

    I have a son your age who is da'd and is shunned by his sister and father and his new family. I couldn't bring myself to treat my own son that way, so I just began to drift away, and nobody in my family really noticed since they are all in different congregations. Now 2 years later, I have spent many hours recently, learning new things about the org. that is made known in this site and others. I have no desire to return in the least.

    Everyday the number of registered ones here rises. And I'm sure there'll be scads more as the lies, secrets, skeletons, and scandles are made public as it should be. We all feel duped and want healing and justice.

    It's always great to hear one more escapee story. Welcome.

    Had Enough

  • orbison
    orbison

    greetings heff

    nice to meet with you
    hope you enjoy your stay

    wendy

  • waiting
    waiting

    hey heff,

    I was born in '78

    Well, that you make you 22 yrs old? For some reason, I don't picture that from your picture - whatever, welcome here.

    We all have different backgrounds - but the end result is the same, feeling alienated from some/all of our families, a sense of loss, of being duped.

    I'm sorry your missed so much from your childhood. There are others here with very similiar backgrounds.

    Welcome, and hope you stay awhile.

    waiting

  • Jang
    Jang

    Heff, it is good that you have spoken up. We can support you better if we know where you are
    coming from.

    Those of us who ahve been out a while can assure you that the day will come when you won't
    cringe every time someone tells a JW joke .... you will be able to hold your head up high and even
    laugh at them and yourself.

    On my web page I have lots of info that will help you cope better with what you have been through.

    http://www.caic.org.au/zleaving.htm

    Hang in there Heff. It does get better ..... time doens't heal .... but the passing of time makes
    the pain pass to a very dull ache.

    JanG

  • jurs
    jurs

    Hi Heff,
    Its nice to meet you. I think ALL JW parents fool themselves thinking "our kids aren't missing out." I have 2 kids ages 10 and 11. We celebrated our first holiday today. one of my presents was them showing me a home video of our last X-mas. They were 1 and 2. My 10 year old said she wanted me to remember when we were happy. Out of the mouths of babes!!!! My heart hurts for you , My kids, and all JW kids!!!!! I suspect your experiences and how you felt is true of most all JW kids. I hope you keep sharing. You can't believe how helpful it is to me to know I made the right decision to leave..JURS

  • Sam Beli
    Sam Beli

    Hello Heff,

    You said: I think what sets me apart from most of the people here is that I never made the decision to be a JW. It never seemed like a good idea to me.

    You may be surprised to know that there are a number of us who were essentially “born-into-the-truth.” My parents became JWs when I was an infant, so I never know any other way of life. My dad “talked me into baptism” before I could read very well! I too felt guilty about having doubts and I tried to suppress my doubts and did so for years.

    You are not alone here or on many other sites. Enjoy your new found freedom.

    Regards,

    Sam Beli

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