May you all have peace.
Last night when I went to bed, my heart was quite heavy: there were things on it, in it, thereon... whatever... that I could not reconcile: I know what I have HEARD from my Lord - how do I get others who love him to grasp that such a thing is possible, to understand that they do not have to take MY word for it, but can ask HIM, for I am nothing more than a good-for-nothing-slave... and have "sold" myself into the "service" of the One who "bought" me... so that it is HIS will that I MUST obey... whether earthling man hears... or refrain?
This is not new "fight" with me, let me tell you: I know EXACTLY how Jeremiah felt, for I cannot count the times my heart has felt the SAME thing. You think, "Hey, this is the Son of God speaking, telling ME to speak; surely, they'll understand that... and WANT that." But just as Jeremiah, who felt "tricked" (he truly thought folks would receive him, and was QUITE surprised when they didn't)... I, too, understand the "burning" inside that will not LET us keep silent... the "zeal" that burns us up! So, we press on... in spite of those who wish us to be silent... who chide us as thinking more of ourselves than necessary, when in truth, we, like Amos, can only say, "I was NOT a prophet nor the son of a prophet, but JAH (or in my case, Christ) called me,"... for whatever HIS reasons were. Who am I to disobey?"
Anyway... now that I got that out...
This morning, sometime before 3am, my Lord came to me and spoke to me. I know the approximate time because I ALWAYS look at the clock when it's over, and when it's over, I wake up. That is not to say that this is how he always comes, but it is one of his ways. Most times, it is during "normal" hours. But many times it is in this way. For those of you who lack the FAITH to RECEIVE this, I am directed by my Lord to refer you to the INSPIRED words recorded at Job, Chapter 33, verses 12-18, which my Lord also now directs me to explain to you:
Job... could not understand why God... didn't ANSWER him. But my Father's response to Job, through young Elihu, when Job complained that God was not responding to his requests for an explanation, was:
"Look! In THIS case, you have NOT been in the right... For God is MUCH more than MORTAL man. Why is it against HIM that you contended because all YOUR words He does not answer? For God speaks... once... and TWICE... though one does not REGARD it... IN A DREAM, a VISION OF THE NIGHT, When deep sleep falls upon men during the slumbers upon the bed... It is THEN that He UNCOVERS the ear of men and on EXHORTATION to them He puts His seal to turn aside a man from HIS deed, and that he may cover pride itself from an able-bodied man."
The verse goes on the say that such a man is reproved so that his soul is held back from the pit and his life from passing away. And do some extent, this is what occurred with me. On most occasions, when my Lord appears to me, it is not with a reproach, and even this time it was not reproachful, but quite tender and loving. It occurred this way:
I felt a strong presence and onced I acknowledged it (spirits don't frighten me... any more...), heard a voice saying, "I am here, child. The Father has sent me, that I may comfort you, for your heart grieves." (Please note, there was another matter besides the instant one also upon my heart, which one was also "handled", praise JAH!). Anyway, as soon as I heard the word "comfort", I ASKED: "Are you the 'Comforter'?" And the response was, "I am the Holy Spirit." Okkaaaayyyyy. Well, here was my "golden" opportunity, right? So I asked: "Yes, but who ARE you?" By that, I meant "are you the FATHER... or are you the Son?" because of recent discussion. I heard the following:
"I am the Christ."
which is what I usually hear when I ask for confirmation of whose presence I am "in".
So, okay... I now have "someone" who has identified himself as "the Holy Spirit," AND as "the Christ." But... I wasn't satisfied because some valid questions had been raised over the last couple of days... questions which almost caused ME... some doubt. And this is what got me "reproved".
You see, I KNOW what my Lord has told me... and shown me. But... I just didn't want to "fight" anymore, and came SO close to just saying, "Fine. Have it your way... it is as you say," JUST so I could be left alone and move on: I have work to do and time is passing. So, I went to bed in quite an agonized state: how do I stand firm? How do I remain loyal to my Lord and what HE says, in the face of great opposition? WHY?! Oh, yes, there are times when I grow tired, I promise you. I get tired, but, praise JAH... I have not yet given UP... or given out.
And it is because just when I am beginning to weaken... and as a result, just when I am TERRIFIED that I will lose my integrity and "throw in the towel"... my Lord comes to me... and STRENGTHENS ME! Just as he did early this morning, praise JAH!
That which was on heart... weighing it down... was ANSWERED... finally and completely... at least, for me. I am no longer concerned with where any others' faith is on this matter - it is not my concern. How do I know this? The conversation continued when I asked my Lord:
"But what about the Father?" Is He, too, the Holy Spirit?"
And my Lord answered, "I am the Holy Spirit, by means of the spirit of my Father and your Father. That One sent me before Israel, as a spirit unglorified, for my glory exists... in the heavens. He then sent me before Israel, as a man... first unglorifed, then glorified. Finally, He has sent me... as a spirit, GLORIFIED, for I now exist in the heavens, in the kingdom, where I was before the seed was thrown down."
Okay! So, now I get it. But, of course, rather than just saying, "Yes, Lord" and letting my heart rest... I had to inquire further. So, I asked:
"Master, why is it that others who claim to love you SO much do not grasp what it is that you tell me, do not receive it as coming from you, so that I am thought to be in opposition to you, when in truth, you have made me your servant so that I speak as you say?"
And his reply was... "Because their hearts are small... and hard. For Israel is yet a hard-hearted people. I cannot write my law on their hearts for there is no space, nor is there a softening so as to receive my words. Rather than soften their hearts so as to let me write upon them, they trust in themselves that they are righteous. Rather than listen to me, they listen instead to Moses and the Prophets, whose words they yet do not understand. They do not understand them because they DO NOT WANT TO COME TO ME. They wish, instead, to live by the Law, although they say different. And so it will be with them... judged as they judge... by the Law... until they receive ME. For it is only the Son who can set them free."
And I then asked, "But why me... why am I going through this?" And his demeanor changed... to one of great sadness, so that I was even more grieved than at the start. He response was, "Do you not know yet whose slave you are?" Of course, I IMMEDIATELY felt remorse, and more grief, because, yes, of COURSE, I knew... and I had been through this before - what was the big deal this time - to which he said, "Did I not tell you that it was a TORTURE stake that you would carry? I promised you nothing more, save life everlasting. And you understood this, just as you understand it now. Gird yourself then, and continue following me."
I IMMEDIATELY got my "spirit" together... for he had spoken truth to me: this is not a "rose garden" by NO means, although people tend to think that it is. They fail to heed the account(s) of the various Prophets, AND my Lord, what THEY suffered at the hands of Israel... who thought themselves right... and righteous... so that anyone sent to them was REJECTED... even killed... including the Son of God himself! And not much has changed, even in THIS generation. I remembered! WHO I am... and WHAT I am... and my heart leapt: "Bring it on, Israel, for my Lord LIVES: he is ALIVE... and he SPEAKS! What can you do to me? I speak the truth to you, just I have heard it and received it FROM the Truth, the Son of God, my Lord and His Christ, JAHESHUA MISCHAJAH!
Thus, what I am told in the darkness... such as I was around 3am this morning, as well as on many other occasions... I will say... IN THE LIGHT. And what I hear whispered... such as I did around 3am this morning, as well as on many OTHER times... I will preach... FROM THE HOUSETOPS. Without FEAR... and without GRIEF.
Matthew 10:27
For I will not let a hard-hearted, stiff-necked nation turn MY head away from my Lord. Because to time indefinite and forever... MY face... is toward HIM... just as HIS... is toward the Father's.
So be it.
One last thing: I also inquired of those who are NOT hard-hearted... whose hearts are NOT small and whose necks are NOT stiff. "What of them," I asked. And yes, I named names.
The word of my Lord to ME is that I am not to concern myself over such ones any longer. They are HIS sheep... and he will "finish" their training. Because of their FAITH... they will not abandoned, nor will they be left by him at all. In his due time, and as THEY are ready... they, too, will come to hear him... if they do not already. For I am NOT their mediator... but their servant. And I have completed my task with regard to them. I have done just as commanded of me, which was to say to them:
"I have found the Messiah! And he LIVES! Kiss... HIM!"
I, myself, SJ, have spoken it to you and related it to you, just as it occurred and just as I received it from my Lord, JAHESHUA MISCHAJAH, the Son and Christ of the Most Holy One of Israel, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, whose name IS... JAH... of Armies.
To all who would receive it in the spirit of love with which I have greeted you, I bid you peace.
A servant to the Household of God, Israel, and all those who go with them, by means of an anointing with God's holy spirit, resulting in an adoption as a son of God and a commission as slave of Christ... to time indefinite...
SJ