First Year Without Attending Memorial... And Spouse Is Free Too

by AnonVet 6 Replies latest jw experiences

  • AnonVet

    Sorry for the use of "the spouse" and "S" (for spouse). Still trying to protect our identities.

    Well, I started questioning everything about 2 years ago. Woke myself up.

    The spouse wasn't thrilled at all. I started a small war, but it was somewhat civil at the time. We just had large differences in beliefs.

    2 years ago I was all "Jesus". I had woken up late 2015 and saw the error of the JW-way. I went to the memorial with the spouse. I saw the need for myself to partake, since WT distorts the true meaning. I did not partake. No need to start a war. The spouse was all-in at JW-land.

    1 year ago, I realized that perhaps this Jesus thing wasn't quite the right belief. I was quite agnostic. I went to the memorial with the spouse. I would have been thrilled not to go. I thought the spouse was still quite in at the time.

    However, "S" had decided to read the same book that got me thinking (Crisis of Conscience) and that got the brain cells working. Over the last year, I've been to one meeting with "S" since the memorial (to keep some peace) and "S" has been to less than a hand-full.

    My victory was when the spouse didn't go to the assembly.

    I brought up memorial about 2 months ago. I asked what "S" would be doing for memorial. "S" said that it hadn't entered S's mind and "S" wasn't sure yet.

    About 2 weeks ago we got in a small disagreement over something and the spouse mentioned that they would like to go back to the KH because of the friends there. So I thought that was the end of sanity.

    2 days before the memorial I found the W5 show about the child abuse lawsuit in Canada and played that on the TV while "S" was in the next room listening.

    Well, the day before the memorial, "S" said they didn't think they'd be going to the memorial this year. "S" said that "S" was quite torn. "S" wanted to see old friends, but didn't want to "get sucked back in". So we stayed home yesterday. First time I've never went, and it's the first time for "S" since before S's baptism.

    I think we're out now. I know I am. I'm sure "S" is too. I'm quite thrilled "S" was able to kick the habit and make a positive change in S's life.

    We have met a ton of new friends over the last year on a local friendship site. Much better quality friends than the fake ones at the KH.

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    That's so encouraging Anon Vet, there is nothing like mental freedom after being deluded!

  • eyeuse2badub

    What, you missed the Memorial? I will never speak to you again! Get behind me Satan!

    just saying!

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Isn't it amazing the agonizing that takes place, all in the mind I might add, when you choose intellectual honesty? Good use of the mind my fellow refugee of the mental cage that WT is.

  • Sliced

    Keep researching and keep creating your new social network for support. Things get better and better! Congrats that YOU BOTH woke up and are out! There's nothing better for spouses to get out at the same time, your marriage will only improve away from this organization!

  • sparrowdown

    First year not going to the memorial is quite a milestone in a JW's emancipation. Well done you!

  • stuckinarut2

    Fantastic news!

    Yes, once the FOG (fear obligation guilt) has been lifted, and events like the memorial is seen as the ritual that it is, life gets better and better!

    You could even say, that "the light gets brighter"!

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