New Way to Fend off *Sheparding Calls*

by teenyuck 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  teenyuck

  When I read the thread about trumans experience with the brothers making a call I thought:

  Why not feign amnesia? You answer the door and say you are not Brother/Sister So & So. No, you have never been a JW. No, you have never been to a Kingdum Hall.

  When they look confused and persist, you insist that they are mistaken. Tell them they do not look familiar, however, perhaps you saw them at the local Catholic church? Could that be the confusion?

  When the insist that you are a JW, you insist you are not, never have been and if they mention people you know or things you did, you say you have no recollection.

  Then you tell them you hit your head (any where will do, just so you were knocked unconscious) and you have no recollection of anything of the last 1-5 years. Use whatever number fits the bill.

  When they are skeptical, you tell them the people you live with found you and helped you. They told you they were family and you believe them. You feel it in your gut. If they ask if you have seen a doctor, you say *I don't remember*. You have amnesia, remember?

  This method will take all pressure off of you to meet with them, have a sheparding call and try to give them the answers they want without being DFd or without you committing to going back to the meetings.

  I think we need to come up with new ways to handle those home visits the brothers make. This might work.
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  expatbrit

  Adding in a statement that after you were knocked out, you woke up covered in blood with someone's ear in your mouth ("maybe it's one of yours?"), might also be helpful. Expatbrit
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  teenyuck

  LOL@ExPat!

  You could pull a Barry Manilow....when you see them coming, put a bandage over your nose.

  Tell them you walked into the wall, during the night when you had to pee, and BAM! Into the door jamb....all you remember is waking up and finding you were naked on the floor, your nose all bloody and it was way past time for work.

  You got up and tried to remember where you worked. It looked like your spouse left for work (he/she couldn't rouse you) and they left you with a note. They told you where you work and what time your first meeting was and you better get your ass there.

  The day was a haze....you went to the hospital at your assistants urging and they determined you have amnesia on top of a broken nose.

  If it could happen to Barry, it could happen to you!
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  cruzanheart

  What shepherding calls???

  Nina (the Invisible One)
• 

  SYN

  Having a remote-controlled Smurf doll crawl across the living room floor during your Sheperding Call can sometimes do the trick too!
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  SYN

  Having a remote-controlled Smurf doll crawl across the living room floor during your Sheperding Call can sometimes do the trick too!
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  nilfun

  You could always answer the door whilst riding one of Harry Potter's vibrating broomsticks...
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  teenyuck

  Harry Potter's vibrating broomsticks

  Where do I purchase one?! And it is not for fending off witnesses....
• 

  worldlygirl

  I don't know where to get the vibrating broomstick, but if you just answer the door holding a regular old vibrator, that would probably do the trick. (Make sure it's turned "on".)
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  nilfun

  This item is not stocked or has been discontinued. Customers also shopped for these similar items .

  
  

  Oh my. I can't seem to find one for sale anywhere.

  What a pity...I hear that athletic broom-riding can do wonders for one's complexion.

  just answer the door holding a regular old vibrator, that would probably do the trick. (Make sure it's turned "on".)

  ...and make like you are about to playfully tickle them with it...

  They'll appreciate it, believe me...elders have a sense of humor too!