Don't Pee in the Water You are Swimming in.....And Other Bits of Knowledge

by teenyuck 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    My mother....Oh, if you could hear her.

    Recently, my mother has taken a great interest in my health. I have epilepsy. For the last 15 years, since I was diagnosed, she took no interest. Never asked questions or learned about it.

    I finally got her to go to the Epilepsy Foundation website and research it. She did. Now, 15 years later, she is determined to find out *why*. As all my docs noted, they have no reason, which is the same reason they give 70% of people with epilepsy.

    My mother watches A & E alot. (or maybe it is Discovery...where they show people being operated on.) She calls and leaves a rambling message on tape worm and seizures. My husband took the message, shook his head the asked why it takes her so long to get to the point.

    I called her back. On the TV show, a woman went to Mexico, ate a taco off a street vendor and started having seizures a few months later. After much investigation it was determined that she had tape worm larvae in her brain. They did surgery and now she is fine. They believe she got the tape worm from the street vendor in Mexico.

    Why would she care? She called to tell me that since I went to Mexico (20 years ago...note the timeline) I might have tape worm growing in my head. I advised I had numerous MRIs over the years and there are no larvae in my head.

    "Well, that just proves you should not travel to all these god forsaken countries...who needs to pick up a disease or something when you can stay home?" Can't argue with that logic, huh?

    She then tells me of another episode where a man went swimming in a dirty river (real smart) and as he was peeing in the water a tiny bug swam into his penis. The bug of course multiplied and *ate his insides out...even his semen ducts...he might not be able to father children."

    I advised I don't usually go swimming in dirty rivers and when I do I make it a point to not pee into the water.

    Mother--"Well, that proves you should not pee into the water you are swimming in."

    Again, who can fault that logic?

    BTW, if anyone wants to adopt a 64 year old JW female, house broken (for the most part), I'll see about having the papers drawn up...

    Seriously, are all older JWs like this? Will she get worse? She is so flakey I think I was switched at birth in the hospital. I cannot be this woman's daughter.

  • shamus
    shamus

    Oh --- that's par for the course!

    BTW, I did see that show - it was on the Discovery Channel, not A and E.... the larvae got into her circulatory system and lodged in her brain, where it died....

    I'll be sure not to pee in my swimming pool anymore - I love to do it!

  • shera
    shera

    lol.. Funnie but annoying I can see.

    My mother isn't a JW but she can worry a lot and at time get on my nerves.I just listen and agree,because I know she means well.

  • asleif_dufansdottir
    asleif_dufansdottir
    "Well, that just proves you should not travel to all these god forsaken countries...who needs to pick up a disease or something when you can stay home?" Can't argue with that logic, huh?

    Sounds like my mom. She's not a JW. I don't think it's a JW thing. I think it's a mom thing.

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck
    I think it's a mom thing.

    LOL! It has to be.

    My adoption offer is still good....

  • Xandria
    Xandria

    Some public pools have an addition to the chlorine so if a person pee's in the pool it turns purple. Pointing out the pee-er. My poor sister never lived it down. We call her purple pants.

    X.

  • SheilaM
    SheilaM

    My Mother's whole family is like that not sure why but that is why Thunder calls them "Tragedy Vampires!" LOL

    I would just think to myself this is the way she shows she loves me but it is aggravating. I try to be careful with my daughter and not blow things out of porportion.

  • RAYZORBLADE
    RAYZORBLADE

    Teenyuck, I damn near died reading that post.

    Very hilarious! Just what I needed on a dreary and dull Wednesday.

    Very funny.....maybe if we adopt Mom, we'll help her shake her mindset.

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck
    "Tragedy Vampires"

    That's My Momma!!

    I told her her doomsday view of life is depressing; try to look at the glass as half full, etc. I know it didn't resonate.

    We call her purple pants

    We were told that also. Never had to deal with purple pants thank god. Your poor sister!

    Rayzor, she mentioned that she would love to move in with me and my husband. I did my best to tell her she will live for years (I am sure she will; if she moved in with me I would probably smother her with a pillow--) and she needs to enjoy herself.

    I am hoping that if she visits this summer I can show her some docs to change her mind on the dubs.

  • expatbrit
    expatbrit

    Tell her that you saw a TV programme where a JW picked up a nasty parasite from the microphone she was commenting into, and it ate her ovaries away. Tell her the moral is always to make very short comments.

    Expatbrit

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit