This is bit hard for me but Im lost and don't know what to do.
2010-Married to a disfellowship person after only knowing him 3 months I began studying baptized few months later and he was reinstated same year.
I committed adultry 3-4 times in first 2 years of marriage he forgave me.
He was a recovering alcoholic and fell off wagon hard when I tried to fix my wrong it was way out of hand he moved in drug addicts in the home we fought constantly I tried to get personal studies with a sister to keep going but I failed at that and left my husband I left for another man 2 in half years later im looking to divorce because well what goes around comes around and he committed adultery on me . I got what was coming for thinking I would live happy ever after. When I filed divorce I went to Indiana for 2 weeks and sent for my ex husband slept with him when I got back and my current husband pressured pleaded n begged to give him another chance I ended up sleeping with him told him I could never trust him again long story short he is agreeing to divorce because the marriage is misery.
The whole reasoning of this I want to help my ex husband I feel that because of all I did to him he is physically in a bad state and even if its me just being there I want to help him will I be able to being as though I just started going back to hall im so lost and I know what I have done just want to fix my self and get back to jehovah