Disfellowshipped 2x adultry divorce remarried getting divorce to write my wrong

by IDontKnowMe77 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • IDontKnowMe77


    This is bit hard for me but Im lost and don't know what to do.

    2010-Married to a disfellowship person after only knowing him 3 months I began studying baptized few months later and he was reinstated same year.

    I committed adultry 3-4 times in first 2 years of marriage he forgave me.

    He was a recovering alcoholic and fell off wagon hard when I tried to fix my wrong it was way out of hand he moved in drug addicts in the home we fought constantly I tried to get personal studies with a sister to keep going but I failed at that and left my husband I left for another man 2 in half years later im looking to divorce because well what goes around comes around and he committed adultery on me . I got what was coming for thinking I would live happy ever after. When I filed divorce I went to Indiana for 2 weeks and sent for my ex husband slept with him when I got back and my current husband pressured pleaded n begged to give him another chance I ended up sleeping with him told him I could never trust him again long story short he is agreeing to divorce because the marriage is misery.

    The whole reasoning of this I want to help my ex husband I feel that because of all I did to him he is physically in a bad state and even if its me just being there I want to help him will I be able to being as though I just started going back to hall im so lost and I know what I have done just want to fix my self and get back to jehovah

  • Simon

    Stop thinking religion will fix your poor life choices, it's a crutch.

    Get some real counselling and learn how to live so that you are in a better situation.

  • cognisonance

    Welcome to this forum. It sounds like you have been through a massive emotional rollercoaster. I'm sorry you've been dealing with all of this. However, a few observations:

    1. As hard is it might be, don't let guilt drive your decisions. Just because you feel somewhat responsible doesn't mean getting back into a relationship that had problems in the past will be a good idea. There are probably reasons why you cheated, that is to say, problems in the relationship that preceded the cheating. This does not mean you should never try to repair relationships but think hard before you do something like that.

    2. Relationship problems are 1000x harder to deal with when you involve the Jehovah's Witnesses religion. This forum is full of people that have had some very painful experiences with the group. You might want to check out JWFacts.com

    3. I'd recommend checking this book out at the library or buying a copy: Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships
  • Giordano

    First step is to fix yourself and that means counseling. It's not an overnight make over. You'll have to work at it.

    From what you have told us your issues probably go back a ways and you'll need to work through this toxic life you've been experiencing with a therapist /counselor.



  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    Adultery 3-4 times 1st 2 yrs of marriage?!

    Marriage is just not for you, hot nympho!


  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    WHY marriage?????? Sow your wild oats first.....

  • just fine
    just fine
    Go to counseling, so you an see why you make the choices you do. You have to take care of yourself first before you are in a position to help anyone else. It seems you are looking to men for attention and validation.
  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    is this typical current JW behaviour ?

  • freddo

    Do you really need an intimate relationship right now?

    Have you got a full time job (or two/three part time jobs that pay full time money)? No? Get one. Yes? Great.

    Find warm clean digs and move in. Eat breakfast, make a packed lunch, go to work, come home, eat a meal, watch some TV, post on here and learn learn learn about the JW religion; go to bed. Rinse repeat.

    At the weekend go shopping, walking, exercise, something cheap. Go home, eat a meal, read a book, study something to "improve" yourself and make yourself a better worker, feel more self assured, whatever floats your boat.

    Do the above for six months and save every dime you can. Look at your co-workers and ask which ones seem contented and stable - accept or initiate some social activity with them.

    At the end of that time you will be in the height of summer, can enjoy the fruits of your hard work and think about what to do next.

    Post often and chat to us when you feel lonely! Keep toxic people out of your life.

  • sparrowdown

    Forget your ex and move on. You can't fix other people, only yourself.

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