New Articles on Watchtower.Org - CAPTION TIME!!!

by SYN 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • SYN

    "Look Joe, she brought us pineapples! I thought those were banned because they could possibly prick your fingers!"
    "Look, Flippy, how many times must I tell you, Jehovah does not approve of red dresses on men!"

    It wasn't every day that the lion's lunch queued up.
    Tired of eating grass, the lion decided that babysitting was a better career.
    Edgar the lion hated it when the Holy Lamb taunted him about his new career as a furry garden ornament.
    Almost every day, Edgar the lion thought back to his previous life in the African Veldt, before his dramatic digestive system conversion.

    "Holy sh*t Freddie, I just saw an Apostate! I thought they all died out at Armageddon!"
    "Why didn't Jehover tell us we'd be turned into parrots in the New System? Being a budgie was so much more enjoyable, with all that target practice and stuff..."
    "Dude, I think the guy who painted us didn't have enough blue paint left, so he just used red instead."

    Brother Flippy hated it when the Hall's old vacuum cleaner malfunctioned and vapourized him.
    Jehover got very pissed off one day when Ted Jaracz decided that enough was enough and he was rewriting the Bible.
    There were no survivors after Bethel began their test program for the new chilli enchilidas.

    Despite swinging her little hammer around, Sister Flipette still couldn't get the Elders to change the no-pants rule.
    The Elders, like, totally disapproved of Sister Flippy's tiger-skin scarf, especially during the Public Talk.

    "And now, we shall learn about all that cool stuff that happens at the end of the Song of Solomon! We'll start with the bit where Solomon gets intoxicated by breasts and hairy mountain goats!"
    "Look, now is not the time to discuss dress codes. We're busy having a Judicial Council meeting, OK? Cool it, Flippy."
    "You know what they say, walk softly and carry a big Mexican hat. Especially in Field Service."
    "They wouldn't make me an Elder because of my goatee, so I decided to wear a traditional hat instead."
    "Despite being featured on the Watchtower's website, I am here to inform you that this type of dress is banned in all Kingdom Halls, Brothers."

    "Check it out, there's this really cool action scene in the Book of Judges, Chapter 2! These dudes really kicked some Shulamite ass!"
    "I really digged this part where Jesus turned the water into wine. If you ask me, he should have gone into the Spirits industry when he turned 30, he would've saved himself a lot of trouble!"

  • Rado Vleugel
  • happybdaytomeAKAcappucinoOC

    These are funny!

    Except that the guy with the goatee, is an Asian. He might be filipino but he is definately not wearing a Mexican hat, or Mexican.


  • manon


    Funny,funny,funnysister with the scarf was rattling her maraca

  • shamus

    HA HA HA HA HA!!!

    FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN ON THIS WEBSITE! THANKS SO MUCH!! That brings back memories of WT studies!


  • shamus

    I actually like this picture....

    Nice house... does everyone have such a nice house complete with bears and deer? I'm sure that nobody has a crappy house or anything.... where's the dump?

  • shamus

    This picture is SHOCKING! It shows what witnesses really truly want to do to their children in the new world.... FEED THEIR CHILDREN TO LIONS!!!

    I KNEW IT!!!

  • shamus

    One last caption, then I'm outta here....

    Young People Ask... How do I get an elder to stop stalking me????

  • SYN

    Hehehe, I knew I'd get some of the nationalities wrong.

    And what the hell is a maraca?

    Shamus: I've never seen a bear! Seen lots of lions though!

  • funkyderek

    Tommy "placed" another set of magazines.

    Brother Smith found work as a mime to supplement his window-cleaning round.

    All the angels turned out to watch the annual baby-throwing contest.

    The crowd was skeptical of Jesus's fishing story.

    Julie couldn't remember which apple was the poisoned one.

Share this