by embalmed 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • embalmed

    Unnecessary Rant:

    Dammit. I hate the Kingdom Hall even more than before. Last Saturday, I received two 2-week old kittens from the animal shelter to foster until they were old enough for adoption. I woke up every few hours to feed them in the middle of the night and of course I had to attend the services Sunday morning even though I was exhausted. Yeah. The dog killed both kittens while we were there because someone left the door open to the bathroom. And she bit one's head off. That was the most disturbing thing I have ever seen in person. I had a nervous breakdown. And I told my mum that God had a damn nice way of rewarding me for going to church to worship him even though I wanted to stay home anyway. She ignored that, then today was Bible study, I told her I wasn't going. I said that apparently her god did not care about my mental well-being, especially considering that my 9-year old cousin had just died the week before. That was way too much for me to handle at once. And what did she say to that? Satan's trying to make me angry with Jehovah and I am going to Bible study. Well, at least Satan will give me the time of day. Jehovah has yet to answer any of my prayers. *sigh*

    Anyone have anything that could make me feel better? I'm emotionally exhausted and my mother is not being the least bit supportive. I guess that goes to show I won't be getting out of the borg for another 2 years.

  • avishai
    Unnecessary Rant:

    Most definitely not true. That is why this board is here, most of all. I wish I knew what to tell you other than you can write here.

  • La Capra
    La Capra

    So something my big brother did, with whom I am incredibly impressed with his scheming, is this: He got the part time job and made sure he got scheduled to work during our regular Sunday Meeting time, and was "forced" to go to another congregation's meeting, during that time, he dressed, put his Watchtower in his pocket, and supposedly "went" to the other meeting. But actually he hung out in a local cemetary, doing homework, or reading other, more constructive material. Whenever our mom would ask if he attended he would happily lie. If asked for "content" he would be honest and say he couldn't remember anything. She never actually checked up on him, but then my mom didn't want to know the truth. Try "disappearing" (take those murderous dogs for walks) about half an hour before meetings and staying away for a few hours. Your mum may be there or not when you get back. One time, at a meeting, my brother got up and sat in the back row for awhile, then, during the changing of the "schools" he left, and came back after the closing prayer (that was pretty brilliant, I thought-no public scene, my mom was too mortified). The beauty of it is if she drags you to the elders, they might disfellowship you (you are baptized, aren't you?). You can sort of hold that over her head, the threat that if that occurred she might have to shun you, but still support you (the law says so). Also, if you are on meds, have the doctor "order" you to stay away from the Kingdom Hall and Bible Studies for awhile. If mum still insists, try getting catatonic. I always wanted to try that but chose the very direct approach (although for three years of high school, I had her believing I had a phobia of talking-no field service, no comments at meetings). Hang in there. It will be worth it. You sound like a goat after my own heart. Shoshana

  • Robdar


    What a tragic, horrible story. Stay with us and never feel that you are ranting. What you just went through is disturbing and you have a right to be very upset. When your 2 years are up, run like hell.


  • kelpie

    I agree with you all..

    Play them at their own game

  • Nosferatu

    Enbalmed, I really feel for ya. I know what it's like being a teenager being forced to go to meetings. The stress from that alone is difficult to deal with, and the pressure from the others in the congregation to "do more in the truth" is a pain in the ass.

    Keep your eyes on the prize. In 2 years you'll be free and you'll be able to discover what it's like to live a normal life. Until then, do the best you can to avoid the meetings and field service. Some excellent suggestions were already given. I used to pretend I was loaded down with homework on weeknights. As for Sundays, it was rare that I got out of those meetings. A part time job would be an excellent way to get out of it. Even if you're not working, sneak out in your uniform, and go see a movie with some nice worldly people.

    Hang in there Enbalmed, your youth may be wasted away, but you have lots of adulthood left to live! When you finally reach that stage, live it to your fullest ability!

  • metatron

    Go to a doctor, tell 'em you're depressed

    Tell your mom and everyone else you're depressed

    Skip meetings, etc.

    It works!


  • little witch
    little witch

    well, I am not ''satan'' but welcome to the board! lol

    It is terrible to lose family members, and terrible to lose pets. That is so sad.

    I remember when I was a teenager, and had to ''go to the meetings'', I was so embarrassed. Leaving home to go, in stupid looking dresses, my bros in suits, and the neighbors playing baseball, and staring at us.... humiliating.

    I also remember at that time, an hour seemed like years. I couldn't envision being free. But it will happen. Dont give up, start planning tomorrow today!

    So glad to have you here, I look forward to hearing more from you!

  • embalmed

    Thanks guys. Some of your suggestions were quite useful. Some wouldn't really work in my case, but taking the dogs for a walk thing sounds very plausible. Of course my mum will probably roam around looking for me, but I can always hide in the bushes or go down a street she doesn't know about. I'm also trying to get a job, but no luck so far. Homework thing has worked a couple of times, although I got yelled and lectured at each time for not doing it earlier. Thanks again.

  • Mecurious?

    Hi Embalmed, welcome aboard.


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