How Can We Help Lurkers???

by minimus 22 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  minimus

  any ideas???
• 

  chachasmum

  WOW Minimus

  That's the shortest thread i ever saw you post!!!!!!
• 

  JH

  We can invite them to sign in and whenever they feel like it, they can post.

  If they come on this site, it's because they feel the need to read what we post. They already have doubts about the organization.

  Your threads Minimus help lurkers alot, because you say what they want to hear.
• 

  Introspection

  If they lurk there is just no way that we can know that they've been helped or even what specifically we could do to help, but I'm sure many are helped all the time. At times you see messages that says I've been lurking so long and finally decided to post, I appreciate what's said here etc. etc... Even though we don't know it, I'm sure shifts are taking place for people.
• 

  Gopher

  We can help just by keeping this forum going, keeping our honest discussions going, so that people will continue to read and learn that they aren't alone in their feelings about the JW's.

  We can also help by following Simon's guidelines, which are basically "keep things civil". If things stay civil, a lurker is more likely to join the discussion and gain by doing so.
• 

  gitasatsangha

  I've given this a lot of heartfelt thought. I think we need to give them lot's of encouragement by posting Betty Page pics.

  

  let's all give as much as we can.
• 

  ScoobySnax

  Gitas.....thats a bloke with a wig on surely.
• 

  Francois

  What does "help" mean to a lurker?

  Why would an active JW lurk on this site to start with? There are eight zillion other sites a lurker could go to, so why this one?

  An active JW in good standing who is obedient to his master's voice, his warnings about the dangers of being sucked in by dangerous apostates like us on this - perhaps the largest "apostate" site on the entire Internet, his warnings about how apostate sites are dangerous to their faith, why would this active JW I am here describing be lurking on this site in spite of all the dire warnings of the dangers?

  How many reasons can you think of why that person lurks anyway?
  Curiosity - That could be a reason. But how long would curiosity keep them here?
  Maybe they're trying to spot someone they might know? Possible, but not likely

  Or perhaps the most likely reason is that they are harboring doubts about the organization and they're (a) collecting more information and comparing and contrasting it with what they have come to think, or (b) they're also building up courage to start the fade, or get their mates involved, or are looking for techniques we've already tried.

  Belonging to an organization as controlling as the JWs is not too different from a marriage. And like in a marriage, it is over, dead, for approximately two years before it ever gets into the courtroom. Remember most of us were convinced that the JWs were phony for some time before we did anything about it - just like in the bad marriage.

  Look at some of the stories that have been told here about what some of us have endured while doing the fade, or while attempting to convince our mates, or while hiding it from momma, or whatever. It's amazing how complex some of these stories really are. And the thing that makes them complex is that we want to cut our losses to the bare minimum. In other words, there are relationships of Love that we would like to maintain in spite of our leaving the cult. Isn't that what made our leaving complex? In a "true" religion people would be allowed to leave with honor. All the public humiliation and violation of the basic principles of Love would not take place if JWs were really God's name people and only channel of communication He is using today.

  To simplify, I think lurkers lurk to get hints as to how to do the fade. They also want to convince, or re-convince, themselves that the WTBTS is nothing but a greedy, grasping real estate and publishing empire on the one hand and a religious cult on the other.

  It would be easier if they'd just post their questions and in general join in the discussion. But remember our recent discussion about how JWs are a religious cult based in fear? The lurkers first have to overcome their fears, which have been carefully nurtured, fostered and conserved by the organization for perhaps years, before they will feel comfortable about actually sharing a glass or two with evil apostates like us. This is one reason why I feel that the flame wars, the internecine arguing here amongst ourselves is defeating one of our main purposes for existing - helping others get out of the Borg. The lurkers can see all the eye-gouging and backstabbing going on here and perhaps it makes them wonder; or perhaps it confirms suspicions.

  Frankly, I'd whole lots rather have a long exchange with a lurker who is unsure about what to do to safely get his family out of the Borg than to engage in some meaningless exchange with a fellow apostate about how many angels can dance upon the head of a pin. YouknowwhatImean?

  I'm winded. So I'm gone. But first to any lurkers out there: Come on in, the water ain't deep, and it ain't cold.

  francois
• 

  jgnat

  (((((Minimus)))))) hope my huge, cushy hug does not bowl you over. I missed you. A lot. More than I expected.

  The lurkers are always on my mind when I post. I like to suggest alternative ways at looking at the world. That "independent thinking" is not poisonous, but actually "good for you". That those nice-looking neigbours who don't go to a kingdom hall might actually be nice, decent people. That the great majority of christendom's Christians love God just as much as a devoted JW. That it really is not that bad out in the big, old world.

  I want to dispel the myths that the society has propogated about the world outside their walls so that members who want to leave can do so without fear.

  Fear is from the Evil one.
• 

  ScoobySnax

  Francois..... I'm not sure if its a JW or apostate mindset that prevails here, maybe a mix of both. But its really ok, All I see here is people, the majority who have been burned because of their association with JWs and they vent their anger. Some of the posts are so riduculous that they're laughable, most are from people who have spent a long time in and are trying to find their feet again in this world, and to those people I have every sympathy and respect. I read here all the time, and post where I see fit, I don't agree with the tangent that some go off on after leaving the Witnesses, but I learnt to accept that this is an open forum, and despite my view that the I still think its the Truth, I expect to be shot at for standing in the firing line of such people. I think the best way to help "lurkers" and trolls and maybe even twats (!).....is to get them to look at things aside and by themselves to see what is truly right, and get comfortable as to how they feel. Its better to get away most of the time from the "them and us" policy that carries on here.