Even though I'm not going to meetings, I still have a tremendous need to draw closer to God.
Since leaving, I do feel closer.
Three things I've been doing...
1) I stopped using Jehovah's name on a regular basis in my prayers. I feel Jesus' example of using Father is a lot more intimate.
2) I stopped, what I call the fakey fake prayers. You might remember them. "Oh Jehovah, please bless the Governing Body, and bless the building work..." To me, those prayers always seemed like a show off type thing. It was like, "Look how Holy I am. I'm not even worried about praying for anything selfish."
To me, a true child feels that his father is invincible. Not needing anything. But we are in need of him.
Quite frankly, my prayers HAVE become more selfish. Because I NEED the help of my Father and the Living Christ.
I'm not fake anymore. I need to pour out what is in my heart.
And here's the most bizarre thing I started doing...
3) I stopped praying before eating meals. I mean, when you were a kid, how many times before you ate your meal did you say, "Oh thank you dad for providing this meal."
To me, I think that praying like that becomes mindless after awhile. I rather say one heartfelt prayer a week than "3 x 7" times a week on "meaningless" thank you's.