For years,attending meetings brought on panic attacks and I just would start crying. I would hang out in the bathroom. There were always a couple of other women in there having crying fits too. Now,I understand what was happening,but at the time,I didn't get it.
"I should have known" moments
- Emptyinside - that's sad, but I know it to be so true.
Like you Dubstepped, I always was full of anxiety at the kingdom hell. Yes is was a sign that belonging there was psychologically unhealthy.
The relief I felt when I finally left the org and walked out during the middle of a meeting...it was so liberating. I felt at that time although in my early forties, I grew up and became a more relaxed person.
It is stressful for many to belong to the JW cult. There is so much dependency among them for pills to make them happy. Does this tell us that JWs are sad people looking for a magical cure or that the hope of paradise and trust in God is not enough?
Either way it is a harmful, uncaring, anxiety causing, life throttling, lying and false religion...
After I resigned as a MS and was still attending the meetings.
After a few times of finding myself crying in my seat during the final song or prayer, I quit for good.
I'm feeling a little silly. After reading the OP, it just dawned on me that I too had anxiety...many many times turning around and going back home...hoping I couldn't find a parking space, feeling dread as I drove down the street toward the KH.
I think I just would feel guilty about my actions rather than thinking it through and identifying the anxiety which would have led to figuring out the source. Duh.
So glad to be away from all that. Phew.