I asked my son to stop playing football.
I asked my son to stop playing football. It was a simple kick about he was playing with a friend using the garage door as the goal. I then went to my home and thought no more about it. However when I looked out the kitchen window 10 minutes later my son had disobeyed me and continued to play football. I was cross and asked him to come inside and game over. We then discussed the " disobedience" and Orlando said:-
" I often play football and use the garage door as a goal, so I didn't see why you said it" That was a great learning lesson for me. I should have said " We have moved our bicycles, they are now by the garage, so please don't play football here as you may hit the bikes with the ball".Anyway the cycles are no longer by the garage door, Orlando can continue to use the garage door as a goal, and in future when I ask my son to do something, I will explain why.
I learnt from this lesson that I also make the same mistake with my wife, friends and in business. Even on this board I often put my point of view across, but I fail to clarify my reasons. Am I alone in this?
You named your son Orlando?
Landry," You named your son Orlando?
Yes my wife and I named our son Orlando.
When I was a kid at school my buddy was " Richard Soul" Unfortunately when our teacher called the class attendance he was referred to as " R SOUL"
Maybe that's the reason that kids go through the stage of asking why to everything, training parents? :-)))
Maybe that's the reason that kids go through the stage of asking why to everything, training parents? :-))).....oppostate
Too True....If you`re paying attention..
Nothing/no-one will teach you to be a better parent,than your own children..
For everyone in America, when the OP says "football", it's what we would call "soccer".
Just speaking for myself,
My lifelong journey (60 years) with and leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses
brings to the fore a lot of emotion, frustration and anger,
Much of what I write here is actually venting,
As such, I'm not always in a position to carefully itemize my reasons
for a particular position,
Rest assured that your posts are read and appreciated,
No lengthy explanations are necessary,
You are not alone!
I blather on at times and dont clarify or even give reasons.
I rely on the innate kindness of my fellow posters to get by actually.
P.S. I love the name Orlando very much.
Yes, always explain. It builds up their knowledge about life.
Even during a crucial safety moment l>ke fire drills at school, I'll correct them, for example for talking, and then quickly explain why:
"Stop talking! You can't hear teacher directions in case they might change during an emergency!"
This works so much better than, "Stop talking or you'll all lose your recess."
I mean it literally works better, as in more students getting quiet when you give a legitimate reason than when you threaten punishment. You have many fewer kids losing recess time that way.
When asking someone to do something, it's often more successful if you give them a little background information so they buy into what you are asking them to do. With my Boys, I found that if I appealed to their sense of logic and fairness, they'd be less resentful when having to obey my directives.
Nagging Version : Boys, turn the lights off when you leave the house ! How many more times do I have to tell you? before you listen ??
Appeal Version: Boy's...remember to turn the lights out when you leave the house. There's a meter on the garage that tells the power company how much to charge us for the power we use. When you leave the lights on,the meter is turning all day for no reason and our power bills are more expensive than they need to be. Instead of using the money to go to Disneyland or get you those sneakers you want, I have to use it to pay the power bill.