Forget your JW history and move on...

by Brummie 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan
    Exjws have enough to contend with, they don’t need people telling them to “Get a life” or to stop associating with people on exjw boards, they had “a life” remember and look what happened to it…. wiped out without as much as a blush from the WTS. Only other exJWs can relate to the enormity of that.

    I feel that I have been wronged, I’m not bitter I’m just damaged. I’m pretty much over the worst, but I can still move on without throwing my past away. Its my past and its very much part of who I am in the present.

    That was a righteous post brother!

  • Ghost of Esmeralda
    Ghost of Esmeralda

    Bravo, Brummie!

    You've eloquently stated exactly how I've been feeling lately. Right down to the part about it not bothering you most days, and it getting more distant all the time.

    But it is there, it is part of who I am, and I cannot change that.

    Were you 'born in"? Because this seems to be a common thing with those like me who were born in, who have 4 or more generations of family in the Borg. When you go, literally everything and everyone you have ever knew will not acknowledge you. I loved what you said about them thinking your dead and just refusing to lie down...that hits it right on the head.

    My daughter does not have the friends I thought she'd have growing up. Children of my friends, who were born around the same time she was and who I always envisioned her growing up with. Gone. Everyone I ever knew, loved, or was close with the first 25 years of my life....gone.

    Now, if someone lost everything and everyone they ever knew through a great natural disaster, accident, or a war or an epidemic, something like that, would people tell them "Oh, it's been x amount of years, get over it!" I don't think so!

    I think the reason that exJW's tend to find eachother is the simple need to talk to people who have shared your experience. This is true of any support group. And that is really what we have here, a support group of sorts.

    I have gone on with my life. Being an exJW doesn't define me personally, just as having Multiple Sclerosis doesn't define me, personally. I am more than those things. But they are an integral part of who I am, and you could just as soon tell me to make my eyes stop being blue as you could tell me to "just move on" from my past in the borg.

    Brilliant thread, thank you.

    ~essie

    www.ghostwriter.homestead.com

  • RAYZORBLADE
    RAYZORBLADE

    How true Brummie, and to the rest of you.

    I too, on occasion, thought to myself 'I am over it..move on now Ray' - but it never left me. It was always with me.

    Of course, with time, the sting of our involvement goes away or lessens.

    The thing that a forum such as this one has provided is a sharing of information.

    Another thing: there were many things I did not know about. See, I left in the spring of 1984. So most of the new light/doctrinal changes went right past me. I didn't even know.

    Having had the JW lifestyle imprinted in your mind, it's no easy task to simply just 'forget about it'. No-no.

    Thankfully with the internet, and the many forums on-line, you can catch up with other ex-JWs and find some sort of comfort or resolve to your decision; whatever that may have been, to leave the JWs once and for all.

    One places the JW experience in a safe place. It's part of what makes us the kind and understanding people we are when others/newbies come to the forum in need of a listening ear or to share their story. In these instances, we can relate, and we've been there.

    We can help others get away from it.

    I am not bitter any longer, nor am I angry anymore. Yes, there are things to be angry at in regards to the WTBTS, but as to the anger that eminated from me, that has gone. It has taken many years, and some counselling, but I have been able to deal with my former JW life as a resource and a means of linking up with similar people.

    It gives me great comfort to be here, and I'm learning things about the JWs that I would have otherwise not been privy to.

    The people overall, are wonderful.

    We are all healing at different intervals. But healing just the same.

    Great post Brummie, I appreciated it.

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    Burmmie,

    Excellent post.

    I have always wondered why, upon occassion, posters on this board tell us all to just get over our experiences. When a person has been assaulted on so many levels, it is not easy to "just get over it".

    I think that many ex JWs suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome after leaving the org. Until the situation is dealt with, talked about and finally put to peace, there is no way to recover.

    I love this board and the companionship that I share with all xJws. We all have had traumatic experiences with a fear based religion. More fearful than many. I don't know if we will ever completely recover. But by sharing our thoughts and experiences, at least we have a better chance of overcoming the assault to our dignity, minds and psyches.

    Robyn

  • Brummie
    Brummie

    Dan, I very seldom make a rightous statement, I'm trying to interpret what it means...lol

    Anglise :( Sorry you have had to go through such a thing twice, its a raw deal, I would highly recommend you meet up with others who shared the same history, its a great tonic. In saying that I recall how highly suspicious I was at meeting other ex's (I looked out for their glassy eyes..lol) so I do understand how we have to build up the courage, however meeting with them was a great healing. Go for it, and congrats in getting out.

    GhostofE, thanks, great post, I wasnt born into it, I studied from 7 yrs of age, however in a sense I was 3rd generation since my Gran and my moms family were also JW so they were our associates from birth, my mom was floundering during my first 7 yrs so it wasnt so strict, my dad was never a JW so he was held at arms length up until I left when I was almost 28. I did freak out for a couple of years through School and tried to mentally block it all out but couldnt and so from 17 yrs old I became the original cardboard cut out...lol

    Thanks Razor & Robyn, truly inspiring to hear your comments.

    Brummie

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