by Eyebrow2 3 Replies latest social relationships
Have any of you attending marriage counseling? I was wondering if you could share your experience.
In particular:
1. how did you get your spouse/partner to go?
2. Did you feel comfortable?
3. Did it help?
thanks...any experiences are greatly appreciated
1. how did you get your spouse/partner to go?
I told him I really needed help and that he had promised when we got married he would do anything
2. Did you feel comfortable?
I felt very comfortable. I had been in counseling with someone else before and was referred to this couple counselor
3. Did it help?
Yup but not in the way I hoped it would. In the first session when the counselor started to confront my husband on some of his behavior he refused to go back.
I finally got him to agree to go back for a second session. After 15 minutes he stood up and pointed at me and said to the counselor "She's got the problem. Fix her an everything will be OK" and then he stormed out
I finally realized he would not take any responsibility for his behavior. He was not willing to work on the marriage
So I left him
ouch...but if you are happier now, then I guess it was worth it?
I have been thinking about it but not sure had to approach the husband
Yes, been there, done that. It was extremely uncomfortable, especially at first.
It was worth it, yes, probably saved our marriage. Learning how to deal with each other in a moderated forum also helps at home. Instead of blowing up and/or storming out the door, you learn to take a breath and say "You know, when you say/do XYZ, it makes me feel like..."
Sounds simple, but it's effective.
For general marital malaise, try reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." Leave it on the nightstand, I bet he reads it when you're not looking :)
