Facing mortality after leaving the witnesses

by truthseeker 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • truthseeker

    Tell me I'm not overly thinking this.

    i'm 39 years old...still youngish...but I worry about getting old. I look in the mirror and it depresses me. I suppose I still cling to Watchtower Utopia when no one would age over 25.

    I used to look forward to Paradise Earth because it meant all the evil in the world, nuclear warfare, terrorist attacks and sickos would be no more, but we are deep in the 21st century with no end in sight.

    appreciate your comments


  • freddo

    39 ?!!

    I've got mayonnaise in my fridge older than that!

    If there's nothing you can do about it then why worry?

  • FinchAndWeston

    Bro, hang in there. Your hurting because you have never been allowed to hurt or worry before.

    This journey away from the JWs is not an easy one, and it will be rough. But, we here have been down the same road and I think if you read some experiences of those who left here on this forum, you might find solace.

    You are not alone and you are not the only one feeling this way.

  • truthseeker
    I've been out about six years. I had to relearn everything develop social skills. Occasionally I find myself wanting the comfort of a hope I know to be false.
  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    39 is still young enough to start all over again. You're still golden for doing whatever you need to do in life.

    Best of luck to you.


  • FinchAndWeston

    "Occasionally I find myself wanting the comfort of a hope I know to be false." - Religion is a lot like alcohol - it's doesn't solve any of your problems but you do feel good for a while!

    But seriously, all I can tell you is, don't replace one comfort for another.

    That feeling you have: it's call fear. And you need to feel it, accept it and embrace it.

    Otherwise it will paralyze you ... so confront it, then you can look your fears in the eye and say "you're not in control anymore".

    Go back and reread some of the JW material and see how it played on your fears....

  • FadeToBlack

    WIsh I was in your shoes. I've got 20 years on you. I think about the 'dying thing' a lot but have come to accept it will happen. Actually, looking back at some of the stupid stuff I did in my life, I'm pretty happy to still be around. SO I just try to take it a day at a time.

    What would you like to do with your life now?

  • Alive!


    I'm a convert, so the thought of growing old and accepting that is how I was raised....but still, after a couple of decades of systematically repeating 'Armageddon' will come before the generation of 1914 dies away, being systematically fed illustrations of youth and paradise - it is difficult for our minds to 'swap' the hope that paradise will get here before long and we won't have to deal with age and death.

    Thats how we talked - we laughed and joked about our joy of knowing we'd never get old in this system - and now we have to live with something that is grittier and challenges us to grow in a real way.

    I still believe in God and that Christ's coming into our dimension was 'light'.

    To me, the Watchtower created a kind of 'spiritual materialism' ( I heard that expression elsewhere and it applies!)

    We were always chatting amongst ourselves about 'the new system' - where we would live, how we would look and the improvements we'd like on our physical selves....

    And now, the youth of JWs are having babies and families without a blink - whilst many of 'my generation' deliberately chose not to, as we showed our faith putting off the distraction of raising families.

    Now, at 60 years old - I have no children with my husband .....I especially feel for him, as his siblings (non JWs) have big extended families of children, grandchildren family friends acquired through a life of 'doing life together' and old age is almost a rich pleasure to his siblings.

    This 'spiritual materialism' which the WT created is not, I believe, the spirituality that strengthens in a true sense.....

    You are young and you have the opportunity to make a difference to others, every day !!! focus on that, and the wrinkles will become your friend...

    Well, that's how I see it - it's working for me :-)

  • truthseeker

    Thank you for your comments.

    They are really appreciated and needed right now. I'm sort of going through a crisis and it's not what I'd call a midlife crisis it's a series of decisions, events, choices I made when I was in "the truth" and so on.

    undoing some choices could cause more problems than just dealing with them.

  • FinchAndWeston
    First, there is no rush. Take your time. You are not on a timeline crunch so take some time to pause. Seriously. Go for walks. Read. Spend time with family. A lot of the decisions will come naturally and give yourself time to process the existential crisis.

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