The Fading Loop Hole

by new boy 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • new boy
    new boy

    My Father in law (Robert Stillman) killed himself in 1993. After the "new light" came out in 1981 we could no longer have limited contact with dis-fellowedshipped persons. After years of being shunned by his only family he blow his brains out with a 38 special.

    At the time of his death, the only thing Bob was doing that wasn’t in line with the Society’s rules and regulations was smoking. He wasn’t living in sin or doing any other type of gross immorality, but because he left the organization back in 1958, thirty-five years earlier, he could no longer have association with his children or grandchildren.

    Yet my father, who left the organization back in 1961, was still smoking at the time of Bob's death. I’m sure my father was fornicating, stealing and just about anything else you can think of. Yet he could come up to visit his children and his grandchildren anytime he liked. How could that be? How could he do that? Because he was no longer dis-fellowshipped; he was reinstated back in 1965. However, after he was reinstated, he just dropped out for good, or “faded away” as the Witnesses like to call it nowadays.

    Just one of the many loopholes and double standards that they don’t want you to know about.

  • Tobyjones262
    Tobyjones262
    The only thing one can do is get out of the cult. Cut all ties and don't mess with the pit viper again. You play with it and you will get bit.
  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Fading away is a loop hole, but it has its problems.


  • NVR2L8
    NVR2L8

    I agree with OTWO. I faded away 9 years ago and I moved 3 hours away from the old congregation. My wife and most of my family are in so I remain on the congregation's "radar". This means that I have to respect their rules and refrain from doing something reprehensible in their view. It forces me to hide things from my wife like sending or receiving birthday gifts to my disassociated daughter, or keeping my "apostate" opinion to myself. My wife often talks about the nice people at the Kingdom Hall, hoping that I take some interest in them, while I do everything in my power to stay away to avoid drawing interest from a "well-intentioned" elder who could feel compelled to help me back into the fold. As you can see, there's a cost to my freedom from the cult but I keep hoping that on day my family will realize how much better life can be out of the F.O.G.

  • WillYouDFme
    WillYouDFme

    Horrible and sad:(

    At the time of his death, the only thing Bob was doing that wasn’t in line with the Society’s rules and regulations was smoking.

    There was a sister when I was growing up who was so so nice, a great person. She was in an Ultra Uber family.

    She smoked, could not kick it, got DFed, and eventually killed herself.

    I never want to hear anyone say "this is a ?harmless cult".

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    Because he was no longer dis-fellowshipped; he was reinstated back in 1965. However, after he was reinstated, he just dropped out for good, or “faded away” as the Witnesses like to call it nowadays.

    In the past, Publisher Record Cards were to be destroyed after 8 years, so an inactive person eventually "disappeared" from the Cong records. Thus, someone that had not associated for "many years" was considered as "man of the world" again.

    That is no longer the case. Your final (most recent) Pub Card is retained indefinitely. Should evidence (aka rumors) surface that an inactive person is involved is some "wrongdoing", it will be up to the discretion of your BOE if they pursue you or ignore it. Thus if you have someone that has a motive to pursue the matter (divorced mate looking for "scriptural" grounds to remarry, or just some Elder that has a grudge for you) you could very well find yourself invited to a JC, regardless of how long you've been "out of The Truth(™)".

  • new boy
    new boy

    This is true but since this was almost 20 years ago and my Father didn't have the stigma of the classification of being DAed or DFed my ex wife didn't seem to mind his visits. For her like many others JWs it was out of sight and out of mind.

  • joe134cd
    joe134cd

    My grandfather was a victim to the new shunning laws around smoking. Had been smoking for years as a little boy and well before he got sucked into the cult as a result of my grandmothers family. Died a bit of a Lonley old man in the end.

  • WingCommander
    WingCommander

    Your ex-wife sounds like a real lovely to treat her own father like that! Probably good that she's your EX wife......

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot
    WillYouDFme - "...I never want to hear anyone say 'this is a harmless cult'..."

    No such thing.

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