Just Sent in My DA Letter!

by Thoughtless 10 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Thoughtless

    Hey, this thread is nothing new so I don't wanna get too personal but I'm happy to announce that I am apart of the 33% Club!!

    I sent in my DA letter this past Wednesday (again actually, I sent it in the week before but I got hit with the old 'Return to Sender') and I sent the letter up to the HQ instead. I did courteously mark it as RE: Disassociation for whatever lackey got it, but I did request in the letter NOT be contacted. I've decided to follow the path of Social Justice and I don't wanna deal with anybody because my mind is set.

    My question is, Do you think that they will respect that? Will I get a letter or a receipt from HQ? I don't want any drama or excess, I just wanna live.

    Also, do you have any tips on how to cope post-DA? I'm a broke college student but I do feel sorta free but I can't help but to deal with the anxiety of being contacted by old mentors and what not. I know that this isn't supposed to be easy but whatever lol.

  • blondie

    Headquarters will send a letter to the BOE to check into it and make sure the letter came from you. Just briefly confirm it verbally and leave it and then ignore any future efforts.

  • Thoughtless
    I told them that I didn't wish to be contacted. I don't want to see them or even talk to them, but they will still contact me face to face? That's going to send my anxiety through the roof
  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Well done thoughtless, but actually you sound more thoughtful to have the need to declare your departure from the cult.

    I do suggest you make the best of your education... not only can it be a meal ticket for life but a satisfaction that you can know you are dealing with the real world and bringing reason to all you do...(unless you are studying frisbee decoration!)

  • stuckinarut2

    Well done.

    If you wish to avoid face to face contact, and want to ensure nothing is misunderstood, simply state that you "would like an acknowledgment in Writing please"

  • Thoughtless

    I sent it on Wednesday. It's Saturday so it had to arrive. Anyway, I'm not trying to deal with the guilt-tripping and all of that. I'm just annoyed that I have to deal with all of this.

  • stuckinarut2

    Yes, remember that you do NOT need to be on the defensive. Do not allow the FOG (Fear, obligation guilt) to overcome you.

    Be proud of your decision.

    And play the "Less is More" strategy. The Less you say, the more effective it is.

    Remind them of "appropriate boundaries" in a calm and dignified way.

    Keep your head up!

  • LisaRose


    As with any major change, it's hard at first, but gets easier as time goes by. Just focus on your future and putting one foot in front of the other and in time the JWs will just be a distant memory.

    Good luck

    Lisa 🌹

  • Zoos

    If your local BOE has your phone number, they will likely call you in an effort to "encourage" you, change your mind, or simply confirm the letter came from you. Just tell them it was your letter, "no further comment" and hang up.

    When you DA, you are worse than disfellowshipped. They really won't want to bother with you.

    Oh, and..... welcome out, buddy!

  • dubstepped

    Congratulations! You didn't do it correctly so you'll likely get a call or something. I forgot to sign my second one (first got sent back because their address online was wrong) so they called me to confirm. I realize that you don't want contact, I didn't either. You may have to have it though but it will mean the end of all contact, so it will be hard but worth it. I felt the same as you. I had ridiculous anxiety. Now I have hardly any. I have peace. You will too, soon enough. Just do what you need to finalize this and feel free afterward.

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