The WT teaches that "fatherless boys" need special care and attention in the congregation. However, as brought out at the RC their definition of "fatherless boys" includes boys that have actual fathers who maybe very well qualified to teach and raise their sons. According to WT, if either of your parents aren't JWs then you are a "fatherless boy." It is the same as if they had abandoned you or passed away. Then they actively encourage someone who is totally unrelated to the child to step in and mentor him or her, taking the place of the unbelieving parent.
According to WT, if either of your parents aren't JWs then you are a "fatherless boy." It is the same as if they had abandoned you or passed away. Then they actively encourage someone who is totally unrelated to the child to step in and mentor him or her, taking the place of the unbelieving parent.
The WBT$ encourages JW`s to stick their nose, where it doesn`t belong.
That`s the reason why most JW`s learn about Personal Boundaries,
The Hard Way..
When I was “in”, I didn’t understand why parents wouldn’t have regular spiritual discussions with their kids. I felt they were spiritually weak and didn’t have much respect for them.
Now that I am “out”, I understand that kids are too young to actually make their own minds about God and everything. They are in fact mirrors of your own beliefs, not yours. If you have any doubt about this, you may ponder on how many kids actually believe in Santa and how long they carry on with that belief.
Hence, I see no values in pushing such ideas to my kids. What I do push however is to seek love and righteousness. Regardless of if there is a God or not, what kind of God that is and his plans, you cannot go wrong if everything you do is motivated by love and righteousness. And I find that teaching such values is much easier as opportunities present themselves rather than having a planned sit down to go over theoretical scenarios.
I find that JW try to go over many possible scenarios and explain right from wrong, when really, they should focus on teaching the kids to reason things out. Like teaching someone how to fish rather than feeding him a fish.
What better way to open the door for the pedophiles? Take a "trusted adult" and put them with a child who will look up to them as sent from God to handle the spiritual need that good ol' dad has neglected. Next thing you know there's trouble right here in River City. (Music Man reference).
This religion, as is true of any cult, actively seeks to break appropriate familial bonds and place the cult in the position of "father," demanding absolute loyalty.
This overstepping of boundaries is in fact one of the signs that it is a cult and not a benign religion.
My (European immigrant) Father was not a JW but was a better man than most of the JW men I knew. He studied with the JW's for years but just couldn't bring himself to go from door to door. He was just too shy of a person, to make a cold call at someones door and start speaking to them about something as personal as religion. (especially so because he was a foreigner and spoke with an accent) . The 1975 fever was in full force and the directive from Brooklyn was to stop studying with anyone who wasn't making progress toward baptism within 6 months. They dropped him and he eventually stopped going to meetings because he couldn't take hearing about how he was going to die at Armageddon because he was on of those doomed people who had come to an accurate knowledge, but wasn't baptized.
Because of this JW "fatherless boy" idea, despite having a perfectly good father at home, I lived through being viewed as "less than" and "to be pitied" because I wasn't from a perfect 2 parent JW family. There was no one who stepped in and acted as a "father figure" as was advised in the literature and from the platform. There were however, those who instead, made sure their own sons were first in line for any of the few and far between "fun" things a JW boy could be part of, including a part in the assembly dramas, running the microphones and doing the fun jobs during JW building projects etc.
For example, when I was 15 there was a work day scheduled at the kingdom hall. They said that anyone who was under the age of 16 had to be accompanied by an adult. I made an arrangements to work with my best friend (also 15) and his Dad. There was a brushy area adjacent to the parking lot that needed to be cut back so my friends Dad told us to take some pruners and start chopping the brush down and that he'd be back to check on us later.
My friend and I were working out hearts out when suddenly the Presiding Overseer came over and yelled at me in front of everyone for being there without a parent. I tried to explain the situation but he grabbed me by the arm and yanked me over to the parking lot and told me to go home and shoved me in that direction. That whole scenario would have never taken place had I not been viewed as a "fatherless boy" with no father that he'd have to answer to. (when I came home early and Dad saw the welts on my arm, my otherwise mild mannered father came unglued and gave the P.O a piece of his mind...but that's another story)
Most of the brothers were good guys but there were a number of the brother's in good standing and regular in service etc who I learned, from knowing their kids, were not good people. Yet we were the ones looked upon as deficient, or to be pitied because our father wasn't baptized.
Ironically, a number of those brothers from that time period, who viewed my Father as spiritually week for letting "fear of man" keep him from going from door to door, were later DF'd for immorality or left the organization for one reason or another or have simply grown old and died.
My Dad was a naturally good and decent man so he didn't need the JW's to teach him how to be Christlike but they did teach him everything (erroneous) he needed to know about the topic of blood transfusions. Ironically, even though he wasn't a JW, he died a few years later, because he signed the "no blood" directive before his heart surgery. I wasn't a boy when it happened but thanks to the JW's I was Fatherless.
Decades later the names and faces are different and all the unnecessary hardships, hard work and nonsense we went through because of the direction from Brooklyn, has been dismissed or forgotten by everyone. Everyone except for this "fatherless boy".
I often wondered what I might say to the elder that took on my son as his "fatherless boy" project. For years I had a few choice words for him. Now, should we cross paths, I will thank him for being the man who set my son free.
You see, my son was hurt, lonely and afraid about a year after he was DF'd. He thought it best to return to the fold. This arrogant a**h***e ripped my son up one side and down the other for bringing shame upon him personally (not god or the congregation). He used hurtful and vile words. Now my son will never return.
Thank you, Eric. I hope you find freedom one day.
JW_Rogue informs us, "According to WT, if either of your parents aren't JWs then you are a "fatherless boy."
If my father is a JW elder and my mother is either not a JW or is dead, I am considered a "FATHERLESS boy."
Is Jehovah on 'shrooms?
Pete - a moving account of how congregations are presided over by "Yes men" whose sole focus is carrying out organizational edicts and who care for little else. The elder sounded like a complete a-hole.
I'm surprised your friend's father didn't step forward and confirm he was your "spiritual" father. Good on your father for taking him to task. Your father sounds like he was a good man.
If I were a "worldly" father I would not appreciate someone trying to replace/compensate for me in any way,
If this is encouraged by Watch Tower it is disturbing,