The following questions and answers were collected from last year's G.C.S.E. exams. These are genuine answers from 16 year old kids! (or so I've been told)
Biology:
Q What happens to your body as you age?
A When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q What is artificial insemination?
A When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q How can you delay milk turning sour?
A Keep it in the cow (He got an "A"!)
Q How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. Abdomen)
A The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels - A.E.I.O.U.
Q What is the fibula?
A A small lie
Q What does "varicose" mean?
A Near by
Q What is the most common form of birth control?
A Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
Q Give the meaning of the term "Cesarean Section"
A The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q What is a teminal illness?
A When you are sick at the airport
Q Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.
English
Q Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A Hands that judicious can be as soft as your face.
Q What does the word "benign" mean?
A Benign is what you will be after you are eight
Technology
Q What is a turbine?
A Something an Arab or Seik wears on his head.