How to Tell if You're a Yankee

by Francois 18 Replies latest jw friends

SheilaM

Thunder is a Yankee this I know
1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside." Yes
2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY! Well, I've introduced him to spicy
3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly. Yep he cans say it
4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes to grits. He hated grits but I changed him
5. You don't know what a moon pie is. well we lived in S. Missouri so he learned but YUCK
6. You've never had an RC cola. See above except yuck
7. You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled. HE hates Okra but I love fried Okra (Thanks Granny)
8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork. Well even I do sometimes but usually not
9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips. See #5
10.You have no idea what a polecat is. Again see #5
11.You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle. WE sweater our Cairn Terrier
12.You don't have bangs. NOPE
13.You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags. YES
14.You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show YES.
15.Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women. YES
16.You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent. LOL and you should here him after he talks to his sisters LOL
17.You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show. True
18.You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.A BIG HELL YA
19.You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. He does home repair
20.The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway. Nope I make him smile daily
21.You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores. True
23.You call binoculars opera glasses. See #5
24.You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping. Nah he is a man
25.You would never wear pink or an appliqué sweatshirt. LOL No
26.You don't know what appliqué is. Thunder just asked what applique' was ROFLMAO
27.You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice, etc.) Except for my cousin and see #5
28.You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one. Again my fault
29.You've never been to a craft show. See #28
30.You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you. No
31.You can do your own laundry without quarters. Yes
32.None of your fur coats are homemade. LOL nope
33.You think the South ends at the Mississippi river. Again my fault
34.You call the Civil War the War of the Northern Aggression No
PS: He says padadda instead of potato also LOL
El Kabong

15.Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

Isn't it supposed to be You'se guys?.
12.You don't have bangs.
Not true, but only when my wife is in the mood.
Hey, I used to study the yewt book when I was a yewt.
Aztec

1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside." Isn't it? 2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY! Hell, nooooo! 3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly. :) 4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes to grits. I looooooove grits! 5. You don't know what a moon pie is. marshmallowy stuff...blech! 6. You've never had an RC cola. I have! 7. You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled. I love okra in gumbo! 8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork. Nope! 9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips. I grew up near a farm! 10.You have no idea what a polecat is. No idea! 11.You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle. Call PETA! 12.You don't have bangs. Uhhh no! 13.You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags. Nope! 14.You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show. Of course! 15.Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women. I call them hey peeps! 16.You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent. He does...Aack! 17.You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show. No, sorry! 18.You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach. Of course! 19.You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. I do! 20.The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway. Nope! 21.You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores. Tacky! 23.You call binoculars opera glasses. Binoculars! 24.You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping. NO! 25.You would never wear pink or an appliqué sweatshirt. Huh what's applique? 26.You don't know what appliqué is. LOL! 27.You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice, etc.) Sorry no! 28.You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one. Not sorry, NO! 29.You've never been to a craft show. I have! 30.You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you. I like people! 31.You can do your own laundry without quarters. Of course! 32.None of your fur coats are homemade. I don't own a fur! Grrrrrr! 33.You think the South ends at the Mississippi river. Nope! 34.You call the Civil War the War of the Northern Aggression. Civil War... I'm a half and half I think...:) ~Aztec
Vivamus

As a European chick, this whole thread has me going like this ????
And some people here would actually dress up their dogs?! Not I would call a poodle a dog, I mean, come'on....
Stephanus

I'm going to try this as a foreigner...
1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
Yes
2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!
Do you mean "tomato sauce"?
3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
If you pronounce anything approaching "shire" in this word, you've dunnit wrong!
4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes to grits.
Don't eat breakfast - the boys cook themselves fish fingers (fish sticks) for breakfast
5. You don't know what a moon pie is.
Correct
6. Oh, forget it, I'm bored already!
dubla

Isn't it supposed to be You'se guys?.

according to jay (from jay and silent bob)....."youse guys" is indeed the correct pronunciation.
aa
NeonMadman

For the record, I saw Ted Kennedy in person and he has one of the largest heads I've ever seen on a person. Really. Disturbingly large. I'm not sure a person can really understand the dimensions of that man's cranium if you've never seen him in person.

Having seen him in person as well, I concur. The man has a head the size of Ethiopia.
As for Francois' test, I don't think it's conclusive. I was born and raised and lived the first 47 years of my life in Massachusetts, and I only answered yes to 14 of the 34 criteria.
And, yes, I know it's really a joke.
detective

Neon,
if you seen Mr. Ted's head... then you know!!
Bumped into Dukakis in the grocery store once (buying ketchup maybe?). He ain't no Teddy... but I wouldn't exactly call his noggin "size small", if you catch my drift.
I only hope that these random encounters with celebrity were as memorable for pols as they were for me (I can dream).
Robdar

1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
A.Not always
2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!
A.No way
3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
A.Not sure how to pronouce it, so I don't
4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes to grits.
A.Oh huh, I like my grits with butter and pepper or butter, sugar and milk or cheesy.
5. You don't know what a moon pie is.
A.I have eaten them and must say they are not good unless you wash them down with an RC Cola.
6. You've never had an RC cola.
A.I should have bought stock, I would be wealthy by now.
7. You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled.
A.Sure I have and didn't like it. I used to wrap it in my napkin and sneak it out to the dog
8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
A.Huh? Everybody knows that chicken is supposed to be eaten with your fingers and you must suck the grease off them if you forget to grab a napkin. Sometimes you forget the napkin on purpose.
9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
A.Have you ever smelled a chicken house? P.U.
10.You have no idea what a polecat is.
A.I once hit a polecat who had gotten in the road. It wasn't a pleasant experience for either one of us.
11.You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
A.Dogs are not supposed to wear sweaters. It makes them feel undignified.
12.You don't have bangs.
A.Yes, I do.
13.You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
A.Actually I would prefer a vacation on the Gulf of Mexico.
14.You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
A.This is true. OMG these yankees are starting to corrupt me. Damn!
15.Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
A.I call my girlfriend "dude", yall.
16.You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.
A.It is difficult to pronounce Chappaquidic without sounding like that.
17.You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.
A.This is true.
18.You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
A.I think that more money should go to the important scientific ressearch of cloning "Bear" Bryant
19.You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
A.WD 40 and duct tape are life savers!
20.The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.
A.Nope
21.You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
A.Sigh, I left my favorite farmer's co-op hat in Bama.
23.You call binoculars opera glasses.
A.Did you mean to say "Grand Old Oprey" Glasses?
24.You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
A.I usually don't fess up my spitting ability until the 10th date.
25.You would never wear pink or an appliqué sweatshirt.
A.I like pink applique'
26.You don't know what appliqué is.
A.Yes, I do.
27.You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice, etc.)
A.I miss my cousin, Kathy Joe
28.You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
A.Yes, I do but never admit it.
29.You've never been to a craft show.
A.I love craft shows!
30.You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
A.There are subways in the South?
31.You can do your own laundry without quarters.
A.A person should always make certain that their trailor comes with a washer and a dryer
32.None of your fur coats are homemade.
A.They would be if that raccoon didn't keep outsmarting them coon dawgs.
33.You think the South ends at the Mississippi river.
A.Hahahahahaha
34.You call the Civil War the War of the Northern Aggression.
A.The South did have the right to secede, you know.

How to Tell if You're a Yankee

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