Did you ever feel like this?

by Mandrake 9 Replies latest social family

  • Mandrake

    I'm thinking in emigrating... I feel like I'm stuck here in Chile, and going likely to Canada (I have my aunt and cousins there, full citizens) is like a real option by now...

    I feel like I'm stuck and that in a best scenario I will be starting at the bottom of the pit, with about 75.000 (USD) in university debt (from 3 different sources) that won't go away easy, broken family, unstable relations with my mother, I think that I've almost got over the JW issue, but the consequences on my life being a born in are severe...

    This saturday will be my second appointment with the therapist, I'm trying to figure out how to put things in order by now, my due date is december, to make any decisions... I finished almost to 5th year of dentistry, roughly 2 years remained but couldn't handle the family struggle, suicide attempts, getting out the WT, 4 house moves in 3 years, my father not paying a nickel for the university... I supported my mother to my own detriment, she's coming out of borderline personality disorder and I think she's a lot better but IM TIRED...

    ...as I'm "almost" a dentist I work from time to time with some patients (friends, ex-univsity patients), I've done a lot of crowns, surgeries, fillings etc to earn some money at my brother in-law clinic)... But I got kicked out of university for failing to complete some clinical requirements because of lack of patients in the previous courses, I just hadn't the force to try harder... studying was clearly not a priority by then, and as I used to be a good student just didn't know all the rules about failing courses... well that is, I Just wanted to vent a little...

  • ILoveTTATT2

    I am so sorry. Life can be shit sometimes. My recommendation is to just take things a day at a time and try to do something small each day to solve your problems.

    Abrazo, amigo!!

  • baker


    Life can stink sometimes, try to make a list of the good in your life, ex Health, young, energetic, so on.

  • snare&racket

    I did a medical degree after leaving the JW's. It was very difficult. I financed myself through university and felt very alone. The nearer to the end of the 6 year degree I got, the harder things were as I became more exhausted from fire-fighting any threats to my future and career, largely financial.

    Having got through it, having somehow survived, I am so appreciative that I didn't give up. I honestly don't know how I didn't give up,

    Now I am financially independent and secure. The JW's have no hold over people without vulnerability. Education and financial security is demonised in the JW's and having experiences the mental, intellectual, emotional, financial empowerment of getting through a degree like dentistry, all I can say is,,... No matter what it takes.....finish it!

  • scratchme1010

    My only advice is, remember, it's just geography. As the saying goes "wherever you go, there you are!". Self care doesn't stop by moving. New beginnings are good, but issue do remain or get worse when left unattended.

  • Funchback

    Hello Mandrake.

    After leaving the JWs, I pushed the reset button on my life. Twice.

    First, I moved from Philadelphia to Phoenix, leaving behind my marriage and my religion. It wasn't an instant decision, though. My wife (now ex) was (is) a JW and our marriage was already weak even before I learned the truth about The Truth.

    After 2 years in Phoenix, while I liked it, I decided to press the reset button one more time. After a first failed attempt, I eventually made my way to Fortaleza, Ceára (Brazil).

    That was in 2011.

    It was here that I finally found myself and discovered who I was always meant to be. I am happy beyond words and it was the 4th best decision I have ever made (1. Having a son, 2. My fiancé and 3. Leaving the JWs).

    My piece of advice is that it comes with a cost. You will likely sacrafice seeing your loved ones in Chile for some time. It will take some time to become legal in Canada as well as to save money in order to visit family in Chile. But, if you have the support and blessing of your family, then go for it.

    Live your life.

  • Bonsai

    Yep, I've felt like that. I had to drop everything and reset my life even as an active, zealous JDub. I left the U.S. for better opportunities, first in Taiwan, then in Japan. I don't regret the decisions I made. You only live once, so you need to do what you need to do to put yourself in the best situation to succeed. Cut out the riffraff in life and keep the ones who are supportive of you and what you want to do.

  • Mandrake

    Thank you for the advice and experiences!!! It's very uplifting to read your comments, I really appreciate that...

    Well, I have a good bunch of family members up there in canada (my aunt, uncle, and cousins), the decision to go there would be primarily to earn more money that I can here and the fact of living there with some support I think can ease a little the things for me for a while, also a professor that I worked with some time ago in dental research spent some months at the University Of British columbia (were my aunt live) so it wouldn't be impossible to finish a degree there.. I will try to mend things here anyway first, and ponder things at the end of the year...

    bonsai: yes, we only live once, sometimes it's to think in "doing what I want" without feeling some guilt, because for my entire past life it was "wrong to think other way than jehovah's"... but its getting easier with time :)

    ILoveTTATT2 and baker... yes life sucks sometimes! it just that this morning i was just seeing the bad parts, this evening i met my gf and it got better :)

    snare&racket you did just a great thing in finish, patients and working with real people is very tiring and sometimes challenging!
    scratchme1010 yes, my therapist told me the same in the first session, problems most likely would emigrate within my head also!
    Funchback I do want to be as happy as you describe yourself!!!
  • Dunedain

    Best advice I could give, at least concerning what you told us, and your current situation, is to finish your degree.

    If you were at the beginning stages of earning the degree, and you didn't have all that debt, I would say screw it. However, since you are so far into it, and only need to finish the last stretch, the best thing you could do would be to get that degree.

  • Mandrake

    Hey dunedain, I like your nickname, it seems to came from tolkien's world, as an adolescent I liked the LOTR and the dúnedain, thank you for your advice :)

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