I feel frustrated 

by BlackWolf 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • BlackWolf

    Hello all, things for the most part have been somewhat better for me because my parents haven't talked about baptism or anything recently. I got a scholarship to go to art camp for a few weeks which has been fun (since its free, my parents didn't refuse) but it has also been very nervewracking for me. I haven't been around any non jws for more than a year and its like being in a different world, a world where people are actually real and genuine and not mindless drones. Im beginning to feel very frustrated though because ive tried to explain my situation to the other kids and the teacher and no one seems to understand me. :( Its very hard having people who want to be your friend when your not allowed to hang out with them. I try to explain to them why we can't be friends but they don't understand :( I feel so guilty and I don't want them to think I don't like them.

    Any advice on how I can make people understand my situation and how serious it is? Some of the kids have threatened to go complain to my dad and its really scaring me, like maybe I shouldn't of said anything about the cult to them. I'm starting to feel so alone like nobody in the world understands me, but at least I have you guys on this forum.

  • OneEyedJoe

    Ugh yeah I remember those days... i guess was never really aware I was in a cult, but the JW separateness never felt right to me so I would always make excuses for why I couldn't hang out with people outside of school.

    I'm afraid I don't have any great advice for how to make people understand what you're going through. Most likely there won't be many young folks that will be able to understand, but I suspect there'll be some. Just keep trying, though maybe take it a little slower so you don't get people threatening to get you in trouble. It might take some effort and patience but you'll eventually find some kids that will understand. Unfortunately it may require that they, too, have suffered a traumatic childhood, but then maybe you'll be able to provide some much needed understanding to them.

    Hang in there, keep trying, celebrate the little successes. Remember that you won't be stuck where you are forever, you will find freedom someday soon.

  • stuckinarut2

    Just be a friendly normal person and interact with them all.

    You will probably make some good friends out of this time.

    But don't feel you have to explain all about witness life. They wont understand, and it may scare them away. To be honest, most people don't actually care about our backgrounds, they just want to spend time together. If you drown them with too much info, they wont get it.

    Just be normal and enjoy yourself

  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot

    I was lucky to have a high school buddy who helped me through my disfellowshipping - I was 21. He was a Baptist which made for a somewhat weird contrast between the two of us.

    Don't be afraid of having any non-JW friends; they're the ones who can make a difference. Your JW friends are no friends at all. Think of it as part of growing up.

  • dubstepped

    I'm assuming at camp that your parents aren't watching your every move, so make camp friends at camp. Chances are you'll all drift away once you go your separate ways, but you'll have a better time at camp if you just be friendly. If they want to do something you can't do with your parents outside of camp, just tell them that you'd love to but can't because your religion doesn't allow you to.

    I'm sorry it is so frustrating. Of course it would be. JW's don't make anything easy.

  • kairos

    Pretend you know nothing of the JWs. You'll make new friends and move on with life.


  • Late Bloomer
    Late Bloomer

    What exactly do you say when they ask to hang out with you? If you are telling them you can't be friends they may be interpreting it as you don't want to be friends which can be offensive. But why are they threatening to tattle to your father?

    You don't have to go into a lot of detail. Just say your parents are super strict because of your religion and emphasize that it is NOT your choice.

  • smiddy

    Don`t play the "victim" card with your school friends they can`t grasp the JW mentality/outlook on things just be as "normal" as you can be with them , interact with them and join in as far as your conscience will allow .

    And whatever you do , don`t even bring up JW stuff with them.


  • zeb

    some good advice here; if I may add; don't fall for the mistake of overthinking the situation. Please don't try and explain your parents adherence to the borg. If you cant attend something blame them. I told my kids to do that and it takes a huge load off their young shoulders.

  • Xanthippe

    It's very hard for nonJWs to understand the cult mentality. I still find people look at me strangely if I tell them my brother and sisters shun me because of religion and I'm not sure it's possible to make them understand completely. Like OneEyedJoe said you won't be in this situation for much longer. It's frustrating but try and be patient if you can. I'm glad you had fun at art camp and got to interact with normal people.

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