It's been a long time since I last kept you up to date with leaving process.
Well, I got another teaching job, I started to work in October and my contract will expire in July. That's is almost a year of financial security and I have the certainty that I will be called in a different school in September until I eventually get a fixed post - this is how it works in state schools in Spain. The experience has been much harder at the beginning because the students at this school are much more difficult to deal with because of their bad behavior and other problems with their families, drugs and so on... But little by little I managed to adapt my methodology and to focus on the good aspects of my circumstances and by now I can say that I'm enjoying my job again.
In November I finally left my parent's house and became independent and it's being a great experience because I can finally prove myself that I can live on my own, I can finally go in and out whenever I want to, and I appreciate my parents more since now I'm more conscious about how difficult is to run a house and the sacrifices they've made to raise me up, so I really enjoy paying them a visit a least once a week.
And regarding my leaving from the org... It's quite hard to explain. I'm literally at the doorstep, I could leave whenever I want to, nothing has the power to hold me back (against my will I mean). I have this constant feeling of "this convention is going to be last one", "this Memorial will be the last", "this is the last time I'll see those JW friends of that town"... but what actually happens is that I'm immersed in my job and my daily routine (which includes hanging out with my closest JW friends) and time just goes by and I don't take that final step.
Of course, the reason why I don't leave is that I love my JW parents and friends and I don't want to hurt them. In fact I don't know why I am writing this since I perfectly know what I have to do and why I'm not doing it, but I wanted to share with you this sensation of having a plan, carried through but being stuck at the end waiting for that final ideal moment or that final push of bravery to complete it. I don't know if you can relate.
Anyway, thank you for reading my post. Any thoughts on this will be appreciated.